Too Much Time on My Hands!

The picture to the left? My baby girl’s bathroom wall!

One semi-sickly and therefore lethargic baby + one mother with a four day weekend (too much HGTV time) + a bathroom with putrid pink wallpaper = a home improvement project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

What was I thinking? I’d heard people talk about how much work wallpaper removal was, but I figured that was them. Surely it’d be different for me. Not so much. I initially gave myself 2 weekends to get the paper off the walls and then another two to get the walls smoothed out and painted. This was going to be a nice, leisurely project where I could take my time and do it right. At the current rate at which the wallpaper is NOT coming off my walls, we’ll be celebrating the birth of Lovegirl’s grandchildren before this project is complete.

I have sprayed and scraped. And scraped and sprayed. And peeled. And cried. And prayed. And after two nights and the inhalation of who knows how much toxic paper-peel-off gel, I have removed a portion of wallpaper no larger than ummm . . . my head. I initially thought I was doing too good a job and had peeled down into the drywall. Not. I had simply removed the design portion of the paper – the top layer. These people put up GOOD (if there is such a thing) thick wallpaper that consists of several layers of compressed cardboard? under the design. It is never, ever, coming down. Never.

I have seriously considered patching up the hole I’ve made, hanging another sheet of wallpaper over it, and just painting over the wallpaper.

On the upside, I had a great Thanksgiving holiday weekend. We were very chill and low-key this weekend – thanks mostly to Lovegirl’s cold and the rainy weather. We spent a little time with family and friends on Thursday, and the rest of the weekend was spent napping, in front of the tube, and on previously mentioned home improvement project.

I did stand in line at Old Navy like a FOOL on Friday afternoon just to score some jeans and tshirts for Lovegirl. I stood in line for what, 2 hours to save $6! Way too much paper-peel-off gel inhalation!

Anybody out there itching for a trip to Mississippi to help remove wallpaper? I’ll pay you. Seriously.

Oh Lawd – What Us Gon’ Do?

I don’t know how Smoochy and I managed this but . . . we have no place to go for Thanksgiving dinner!

We usually go to my brother’s in Houston, but they decided not to host this year, which is cool. I understand the burnout thing. So, we assumed (yeah, yeah, I know) that we would be at my father-in-law’s for the holiday. Sure, he’s cooking – at his new girlfriend’s house! And my sister-in-law’s mother-in-law (follow me?) may or may not be cooking at the sister-in-law’s house. Basically we are ass out.

It never occurred to me that I might have to prepare a Thanksgiving meal. Of course, it is the day before Thanksgiving, I haven’t been to the grocery store and oh yeah – I can’t cook! Well, I can put together decent, basic meals. But a turkey? Dressing, mac and cheese, greens, sweet potato pie? Those are out of my reach, and somehow I don’t think tomorrow is the day to start experimenting.

We are going to end up being the poor pathetic family that waitresses roll their eyes at when they come into the restaurant on Thanksgiving Day looking for a meal. How do I know the waitresses will roll their eyes and talk about us? I used to do it back in the day when I was waiting tables and making $2.13 an hour + tips!!!

Seriously – what am I supposed to do? Thanksgiving meatloaf anyone?

Pretty darn accurate . . .

AB’s Life Ratings
Life:	7.3
Mind:	7.5
Body:	8.4
Spirit:	7.2
Friends/Family:	5.7
Love:	7.3
Finance:	7.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

I think the friends/family rating is a little low, but other than that I’ll take it. Of course, this computer generated test is probably the only indication I’ll ever have of being a balanced, well-adjusted type person. Got this from Chubby’s spot!

Walk Like an Egyptian

Or in this case a Mississippian. My Lovegirl took 3 whole steps last night! Both Smoochy and I were there to witness it and it was awesome. Like a tentative little she-Frankenstein, she walked from the couch to the ottoman. We held our collective breaths until she finished her mini-journey. I have a sneaking feeling that these last few baby pounds are about to come rolling off as I chase her around and fend off all sorts of impending disasters. Let the fun begin!

And For This I am Grateful

Last week I went to a “How to Communicate with Tact and Finesse” workshop courtesy of my boss. (I think I’ll start calling her “jefe” – sure, its Spanish for boss, but its also close to “heifer” which would be my true reason for using it). Anyhoo, back to the subject at hand. So, at the seminar we were told to focus on the positive, to mentally prepare ourselves for less than pleasant situations, etc. And I thought this was something that I could take away from the seminar and truly use. I don’t generally think of myself as a negative person, nor am I a pollyana. As with most things in life, I fall somewhere in the middle. While I have no desire to be pollyana – who would I be if I were to lose my lovely, sarcastic wit? I have decided to boost myself up every morning with a combination of prayer, positive self-talk, and chai tea. Okay, so the chai is something I threw in, but hey, so far I’m one day into this thing and its working! So I have decided to list, in no particular order, some things for which I am grateful. (And yes, I realize there is nothing positive about calling my boss jefe, but a girl’s got to have a little fun!)

I am grateful for:

my health, my daughter, my husband, my family, chai tea, God, Etta James, Bill Withers, Smokie Norful’s song “I Understand”, butter pecan ice cream, nail polish, the warm sun on my face, airplanes, email, my friends, modern conveniences such as washing machines, dryers, telephones, and iPods, the color purple, Prince, vacations, sugar, Target, my home, an assigned parking space at work, fried catfish, good books, disposable diapers, humor, employment, and dum dum lollipops.

Not an all comprehensive list. Just some things off the top of my head. For what things are you grateful? Think about it. Have yourself a loverly day!

I am a Medical Miracle

I had a baby all by myself! Oh, that’s impossible you say – well, apparently not so much. I just reminded my dear husband that I had a baby shower to attend this weekend and that he’d agreed to watch Lovegirl for 2 whole hours and dude copped a serious attitude. What? All I’m asking for is 2 hours. 2 measly baby-free hours. Not to go clubbing. Not to go on some outrageous spending spree. But to go to a baby shower. I won’t be anal and calculate how many hours there are in a month (but I really, really want to), but if you take these two hours I’m asking for on Saturday and add them to the two hours I spent playing Bunko this month that adds up to 4 whole hours of baby-free time. Count ‘em – 4. Now, I love my girl, and do not in any way resent her, but the man kills me when he acts like this child just miraculously appeared in his life and that she is solely my responsibility. Geesh!

Lucky for him, I just completed a seminar on how to communicate with tact and finesse. So, instead of ranting, raving, and screaming as I was wont to do, I simply said “goodbye” and released the telephone line. Maybe not as tactful and finessesful (new word!) as my instructor would have had me be, but for me – excellent!

Does anyone else’s husband act like this or is it just mine?

*Update for posterity’s sake — Aforementioned husband apologized, rearranged his work schedule and spent quality time with Lovegirl so I could go to the baby shower. The shower sucked. Oh well — can’t win ‘em all!

Tuesday Tidbits

Lovegirl’s ever expressive eyes. Okay, so maybe she’s just staring at me while sucking her thumb trying to figure out why I’m taking yet another picture. ‘Cause you’re beautiful sweet thang and I love you!

I got my hair braided last night. Cornrows to be specific. I am pleasantly surprised – I don’t resemble Leroy from FAME too much. Thank God for small favors. I’ve never had my hair braided as an adult. Last time I rocked the braids, there were jillions of colored beads hanging from the ends that gave me a concussion when I tried to jump double dutch. Must not give in to the “easiness” of perming hair. Stay napptural! (I am most definitely NOT hating on those who straighten/perm/flatiron their hair. Do you!)

Short work-week. Hallelujah! My dear Mother is coming to town Thursday. She lands at 9 a.m. At 12:45 p.m. she, Lovegirl, and I will hop on another flight to Houston to visit my oldest baby brother and his crew. We’ll return on Friday, watch Smoochy coach a game and then head to the Bluff on Saturday morning for Homecoming festivities. Mother dear will fly out Sunday afternoon. Whew! We’ll be busy, but it’ll be fun. Much, much fun. I can’t wait!

I got my undergraduate degree from UAPB and my masters from JSU. Saturday night UAPB stomped JSU into da ground. Final score? 64-36. Did I mention that we (UAPB) were 1-6 previous to Saturday’s game? What a sweet victory especially since we’re the Rodney Dangerfield of the SWAC – no respect. Well, maybe a little more than say, Prairie View. But not much more.

Did I mention just two entries ago that I’d be doing more work and less blog related stuff during the workday? Hmm . . . this entry is definitely not a step in the right direction. Gotta go. Peace!