I will try to remain composed. I cannot stand my boss. Really. Today I got my evaluation. 2.4 out of 5. That’s an F in case the letter scale works better for ya. I just don’t know what I can do about this situation. I run all around the state, talking to students, talking to teachers, talking to parents. And still, for her – not enough!
The woman has now outlined a filing system that I am to use to file MY paperwork. Not office-wide stuff, but my stuff. I don’t work in a doctor’s office or a college admissions office. I have a “normal” filing system as it pertains to my stuff – type a label, stick it on a folder, stick folder in drawer. When someone asks for it, go to said drawer, and pull it out.
No! She’s a notebook person and now dictates that I become a notebook person because in her eyes it works better. I know you’re probably reading this and wondering why I’m b*$tching about a filing system, and I know in the grand scheme of things this is minute, but this is just built up frustration, so bear with me, or come back tomorrow – I’m sure I’ll have a happier post up soon.
She is my boss. I try to do a good job. Not for her, but for me. For my self-pride, for my family, for my God. Nothing and I mean nothing is good enough for her. I think she’s going to fire me.
Have I mentioned that we used to have twice as many people on staff? Yeah. We are now a staff of 4. With 8500 students to serve. I do all the college fairs, all the in-class presentations, all the parent nights. And monitor 16 schools. And monitor tutoring. And promote an online tutorial program. Shall I go on?
I am tired. I haven’t been successful in my attempts to find another job. I must work.
I really feel as though this is a spritual test. And that I’m failing. I know I’m not supposed to look to man for help and I am. I’m looking to the man for my check. Worried that if I don’t have a check things will fall apart and be irreparably damaged. I know I’m supposed to turn this over and leave it alone. When I finish this email, that will be it. No more gripping about her, this job, this situation. I have got to let go and let God.
I have probably just written the most rambling entry ever. I’m not even going to go back and proof it. If you’re still here – cool. Say a prayer for me. I need it. Thanks.