Straight and Nappy

Talkin’ ’bout good and bad hair
Whether you’re dark or fair
Go on and swear
See if I care
Good and bad hair
-”Straight and Nappy” (from School Daze)

I am so tired of this whole good hair/bad hair drama! When are we as a people going to realize that we come in all different flavors, each one unique and beautiful?

My daughter, my Lovegirl, is 17 months old. She has a finer grade of hair than I do. It curls up softly with a little hairdressing cream. It’s straight around the edges. She has “good hair.” I don’t know if her hair will stay like this or if it will change, and really, I don’t care. People are always telling me how cute she is, how good her hair is. I used to to correct them, and say “yes, she is cute – thank you and all hair is good hair.” But, my mother and brother pointed out to me that I cannot change other people’s mindsets. All I can do is raise my daughter to know that every person is, in some way, beautiful and that whatever physical attributes she has are genetic. Period. She didn’t do anything to deserve them – “good” or “bad” and to not get caught up in that stuff.

I know that we live in a culture, a society, a world where physical beauty is important and celebrated, and I know that won’t change. I just don’t want my kid caught up in it. Whether she has an awkward year or two (a decade in my case!) or whether she glides through puberty like a swan, I want her to really, truly know that it is what’s inside, it is your character, it is your attitude, it is your capability to love that matters. Not the color of your skin, not the shade of your skin, not the texture of your hair, not the size of your feet . . .

Is this when having a boy is easier? Do parents of boys worry about physical beauty? I mean, I don’t lie awake at night pondering this stuff, but I do admit that the kinky hairs on the back of my neck stand up every time I hear “good hair.” Aaargh!

Friday Gripe


Really short. Really quick. Have y’all seen that commercial – and I don’t even KNOW what they’re selling – but this guy is on a bus/subway and he tells two guys to start fighting and then he tells this thick black girl to shake it and she commences to shaking her rump and shimmying all up and down a pole?!?

What the hell? What are they selling? Who was their PR/marketing firm? Was there not one minority, one woman at the table who spoke up and said this is GARBAGE?!?!

Maybe it’s just me.

Have a great weekend. Peace.

To Thine Own Self Be True?

Today’s question is: “how true to yourself should you be?”

Let me explain. I think that life is a journey. One on which we are continually growing, changing, and improving (hopefully). However, I also believe that we all have personalities and that we are generally who we are.

I’ve been going through the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People training at work and one point Covey brings up is that people who say “well, that’s just the way that I am” are making excuses not to change. True? Not true? I don’t really know. I don’t think you should walk around cursing people out, being rude, etc. and just putting it off on your personality. But. I don’t think that we should have to rearrange ourselves and/or our personalities to make other people happy. Am I making sense? Probably not. If we only make changes that we deem necessary, then we’re essentially subscribing to “I am who I am.” If we’re constantly making changes that others deem necessary, we’re always blowing in the wind and driving ourselves crazy and half-schizo in the process. When is enough enough?

The people in life who seem happiest to me appear to be satisfied with themselves. They do what they do and don’t worry too much about the rest. Is this completely selfish on their part or should they be applauded for their attitude?

Just something I’ve been contemplating as of late.

I hope that everyone – like I’ve got this huge audience :) – has a lovely week. If you’ve got any thoughts on this subject, I’d love to hear them.

Peace.

Random Ramblings

Buenos dias! I have returned from my conference in San Antonio. Good stuff. Probably the first conference I’ve been to where I actually enjoyed and benefitted from all the sessions. Of course, I missed Smoochy and Lovegirl, but I can’t lie – it was good to just chill and be me – no Mom or Wife titles attached – for a few days. I ate enough Mexican food to sustain me ’til I head home to Cali this summer – muy excellente!

Mwabi has a really great entry up about hair, hair texture, natural hair, relaxed hair, etc. Lots of lively discussion in her comments section. Check it out if you’re so inclined.

Not much going on this weekend – like there ever really is. It is supposed to rain and/or sleet for the next week or so. I believe that when I pick Lovegirl up this evening, we’ll go on to the grocery store and pick up provisions just in case the weather does get really nasty. Did I just say provisions? Great – now I’m my own episode of Little House on the Prairie.

Anyhoo, since I didn’t have much to say this go-round (obviously) I think I’ll just wrap it up. Have a merry weekend.

Peace, Love, Soul!

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
- G.B. Shaw




A Meme – from me to you!

I stole this from KB – hope this tides y’all over for a while. I’m on my way out of town for a conference – holla on the other side.

Four Jobs I’ve Had

  • Waitress – At Shoney’s. For a year while in college. Made me a true believer in higher education. Nothing like a crappy job to keep you in school.
  • Extension Specialist Assistant – Fancy title for a monkey. Well, maybe not, but that’s sure what I felt like sitting in a cubicle, day in and day out, adding up travel mileage for state employees and cutting their travel checks. First job out of college. Yeech!
  • Employment Specialist - Loved it! I worked in an office. By myself. That’s right. I was the office – that was living the high life. Oh yeah, the actual job was helping place farmworkers (it was Arkansas y’all) in education programs to help them get out of the farmworking occupation. Cool beans. I was helping people AND not having to deal with office b.s.
  • Administrative Assistant - “Nerd Girl, will you please make me a pot of coffee every morning that is the same color as the inside of my wrist.” Need I say more? I got out of there with a quickness! I’m not above making a pot of coffee, but then to have to brew it weak AND match it to the color of someone else’s wrist – come on now.

Four Movies I Can Watch Anytime

  • Imitation of Life
  • The Jerk
  • Steel Magnolias
  • School Daze

Four Places I Want to Live

  • Minneapolis - fascinated by this city ever since the Purple One appeared on the scene. And now that I’ve visited, I think it is absolutely beautiful. Except – I don’t do winter. At all.
  • Washington D.C. - the movement, the culture, the metro. I LOVE it.
  • San Diego - beautiful. And just near enough my parents for everyone to be okay with it.
  • ? – I haven’t been yet.

Four TV Shows I Love

  • Grey’s Anatomy
  • American Idol – but only the auditions
  • Girlfriends - not even close to any reality I’ve ever lived, but the friendships speak to me
  • Miami Ink - one of my new goals in life? To have Nunez tattoo our family symbol on my lower back.

Four Places I’ve Vacationed

  • Jamaica - the best vacation ever
  • Orlando, FL
  • Italy - Rome, Venice, Pisa. Need to go back as an adult
  • London

Four of My Favorite Dishes

  • Chicken and Waffles - from Roscoe’s of course
  • Chicken Tortilla Soup
  • Moo Goo Gai Pan
  • Turkey Burgers

Four Sites I Visit Daily

  • Clarion Ledger
  • USA Today
  • Yahoo
  • HGTV

Four Places I’d Rather Be Right Now

  • At Home
  • In the Bed
  • At the Park with Lovegirl
  • In Jamaica