Lions and Tigers and Bears – Oh My!

This is not a post about the circus, circus animals, or even cotton candy. This is a post about the shady side of the circus. The part no one likes to talk about. The part where genetic abnormalities run rampant. The part where we indulge our shameful curiousities and pay to see those who are different from us, not as “normal.” You know, the 700 pound man, the bearded lady, the spider-lady, the world’s smallest midget . . . .

Well, today my dear readers, I would like to introduce a little known (until now) side-show act. Coming soon to a job interview near you: “The Woman With the World’s Biggest Hair!” That’s right – I, Nerd Girl am now a circus act in the making.

You know I’m still in the throes of my job search right? Right. So anyhoo, I’ve been wearing braids for over a year now. Really easy, only had to get them done once every 5 weeks or so, get up, pull scarf off, spray with a little oil sheen and voila – I was set for the day. Loved it! Well, I decided that I was sick of the braids, so I went to a girl that does natural hair, and she twisted it for me – with my intention being to let it lock up.

Until. I got a call from my dream job. They wanted to see me last Thursday. They called late Wednesday evening to set up the interview. I looked in the mirror and decided that I needed straight hair, and I needed it now! The twists, while neat and orderly, were probably not the look I needed to interview in in this very conservative environment. But heck, the interview was early the next day, and there was nothing I could do about it. I. Can’t. Do. My. Own. Hair. Okay, there, I’ve said it. So I ironed my interview suit, tied my hair down so at least it wouldn’t be all over my head, and prepared to interview. I got a call early the next morning – the physicians’ schedules had changed and they would have to reschedule the interview. The lady who called wasn’t sure when the interview would be. Sometime early this week perhaps.

Perfecto! I now had time to have someone take a flat-iron to my head and coax my naps and snaps into socially acceptable straightness. So Friday, I sat patiently while M worked her magic on my head. When she finished and gave the mirror, I gasped. My hair was beautiful! She cut some layers into it and it was curled and shaped to perfection. For a minute (okay, maybe two) I seriously considered getting a perm again. I was that fly. When I went to pick Lovegirl up from the sitter, her sitter D agreed that my hair was awesome. I’ve got a lot of hair. A lot. And when it is “done,” it really does look pretty good (I say that in all modesty). I was a little concerned about keeping the style up, but between the pointers and tips from M and D, I was pretty certain I’d be able to keep my do looking good for at least the next week or so.

Wrong. I woke up Saturday morning and had miraculously morphed into “The Woman With the World’s Biggest Hair!” It still looked good, but boy had that stuff expanded. I was some sort of science experiment gone very, very wrong. I thought perhaps I was overreacting, you know how we girls can be about our hair. Until I went in to get Lovegirl out of her crib. Her little eyes bugged out and she slowly reached toward me exclaiming “your hair Mama, your hair!” Alrightie then. But since when do I take fashion critiques from a two year old? So on I soldiered. By the end of the day let’s just say that several (lots!) of people had confirmed that I did indeed qualify to be a circus sideshow act. My husband, a dear friend, my sister-in-law, my father-in-law (he didn’t say anything, but I could see him staring at my head in amazement when he thought I wasn’t looking) and the public in general.

So, here it is Monday morning and I’m stuck with Big-A hair. This qualifies as Big-A hair even if I were a white woman in Dallas – and that’s saying a lot. And that dream job interview? Hasn’t been rescheduled yet!

Oh, but I did get a call for another interview, so I’m off to shower and get myself – and my hair – ready for that one. Send a prayer your girl’s way — I’ll let you know how it all worked out.

I would post a picture of aforementioned hair, but really, I think I’ll let you use your imaginations. See how much more fun that is??

An Open Letter


Dear Mother Nature –

I don’t mean to complain, but remember that FALL weather that I was so eagerly anticipating? Where is it? I’ve watched the weather channel, I’ve heard of predictions of cold fronts, I’ve lovingly polished my boots, I’ve stocked up on tea, and I bought a new sweater. Heck, I even bought more generic groceries than usual (and I didn’t think that was possible) just so I’d have a few extra bucks to indulge in a Rainy Day Latte from the Seattle Drip Coffee kiosk.

However, it is still 80 degrees outside.

Dear, dear Mother Nature – have we had a failure to communicate? It’s October. Summer is officially gone, and the State Fair likewise. We’re more than halfway through the college football season (for my alma mater anyway – we rarely if ever make the playoffs) and yet it is still darn near summer outside. What’s up with that? Now please, understand, I know that you function in your own time and believe me I’m not really questioning your holding Fall hostage and there’s no need to send another Katrina our way just to prove that’re you’re the boss. I’m just saying . . .

Anyhoo, I’m eagerly anticipating the Fall’s arrival, so whenever you see fit, please go ahead and send her this way. I’m not in any hurry for Winter, so feel free to keep him with you a little longer than usual.

Sincerely Yours –

Nerd Girl

Random Randomness — Pt. II

Mmmkay . . . just to keep the blog ball rolling, I present to you another set of randomness from the world of Nerd Girl. I hope that all is well with y’all!

  • Happy belated birthday to me! I celebrated b-day #34 on the 9th. I spent the day with Smoochy and Lovegirl at the fair, lounging around the house, and at dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. A good time was had by all!
  • I have vowed to be in awesome physical shape by the time b-day #35 rolls around. So, I’m spinning 3x a week, have signed up to walk in a couple of 5Ks (Nerd Girl does NOT run), and have started going to a weight training class at the gym on a weekly basis. The number on the scale is good – I’m looking for some definition now!
  • Still looking for a j-o-b. The interview I mentioned last time? Oh, it went really well. I am fully qualified for the job, the supervisor seems really cool, and I think it will be a good fit. The only problem is that the job hasn’t “officially” opened yet, and it may take a couple of months for them to post/fill the position. I remain hopeful – and on the hunt for new prospects.
  • In the last post I mentioned a marathon cooking session? Well, forget about it. I’ve decided that my desire to stock up the freezer with a month’s worth of prepared meals is not as strong as my desire to spend my Sunday relaxing. Maybe next month? Probably not.
  • My crazy-a husband got “us” another dog. We are now the proud owners of a 9 month old Akita. I have never seen the dog, and if things go according to plan, I won’t. His friend was trying to get rid of it, and apparently Smoochy was feeling benevolent and took the dog. There are a number of problems with this scenario – the first and most important being I don’t want/need another living thing to take care of at this point in my life – I’m having a hard enough time making sure that Smoochy, Lovegirl, Mac (our Pomeranian), and myself are okay, not to mention my houseplants! Following closely behind that – it’s a big dog that needs to be outside, we don’t have a fenced backyard, the breed is apparently not that great with kids . . . and the list goes on. So, Smoochy has “boarded” the dog with another friend until he finds a home for it. What? We took a dog from a guy who didn’t want it and was looking for a home for it just so that we could buy it huge quantities of food, leave it with another friend and look for a home for it. Smoochy wins no points for this one! If you’re looking for a great dog at a reduced price – FREE – let me know – I’ll make the arrangements!
  • I’m trying to potty-train Lovegirl. Again. I tried earlier this summer, but I guess someone (me) wasn’t fully dedicated to the idea, and put her back in diapers. Well, here we go again. Wish me luck. Lovegirl’s not fully embracing the idea as evidenced by her sitting on the pot patiently, and then when the urge to go hits her, she jumps up, holds her knees together and screams “bring the diaper Mama – bring the diaper – now Mama, now – hurry!” Umm, sweetie the goal is to get you out of diapers. Not to teach you extraordinary bladder control until you are presented with a nice fresh diaper in which to do your business. Any tips and or tricks you other mothers (or fathers) can provide will be greatly appreciated. As a matter of fact, I’ll award the one of you with the best tip a prize. You guessed it – an Akita of your very own to love, house, and feed!
  • Why did Vivica A. Fox get kicked off of “Dancing” last week? Now sure, her Paso Doble looked more like a roach-stomping festival, but her other performances had been great. I think they would’ve done much better kicking off the brunette whose name I cannot remember. I’m pulling for Monique or Joey at this point. Mario is good, but I think he’s had some previous training which gives him an unfair advantage. Oh, and I know Jerry Springer is some sort of sentimental favorite because of his daughter/doppelganger, but it is time for him to go!
  • I’m having a hair conundrum. I’ve grown the perm all out, and have been rocking the braids for almost a year now. Well, I’m sick of the braids, and am really ready to dread this stuff up. I just don’t think I should because of the job search. I figure it is probably better to keep the braids or wear a styled ‘fro than to walk in to interviews with little twists all over my head. Any thoughts? Comments?
  • I’m so glad cooler weather is on the way. I’m definitely not a freezing-cold weather type gal, but cooler temperatures are always welcome. The clothes are cuter, the air is fresher, and we can consume chili at a rapid pace once again! And boots! I love boots and have been lovingly polishing mine up in preparation for next week. Even Lovegirl is down with the boots. Every day she tells me that we need to go to the store and get her some new boots. You know what? She’s right!

Mmmkay, that’s it. Happy Fall Y’all!