Good Googleymoogley
March 18, 2008 
Am I the only person who hasn’t had an affair???
The new Governor of New York and his wife admit to past extra-marital relationships during a rough patch in their marriage.
When Smoochy and I have a fight, I go to the movies or to the gym. Alone. Is it just me?
I am so with you!!! What’s up with all of these affairs?? My husband and I have been together 3 years (known each other for
and haven’t even thought about cheating — well I guess I can only speak for myself, but you know what I mean! LOL!
I just don’t get it!! Does everyone cheat these days??
Cheating is very real and alive in too many relationships. We read a really good book on the topic when we were going through our premarriage counseling almost 10 years ago on how easy it can be to wind up in that situation when your spiritual/emotional/physical needs aren’t being met.
I must admit cheating has never crossed my mind in all of the years of our relationship but I do have a marriage based on a friendship full of communication with emotional and spiritual support. Different people have different reasons for choosing who they marry and unfortunately it seems more common for those reasons to be based looks or feelings rather than character and commitment.
AMEN!!! I’m like, who are these people? I just don’t get it. Not one bit.
BGG – Smoochy and I will be married for 9 years in May, and have been together for . . . 14. I’m not saying that our relationship is anywhere near perfect, but still, the thought of looking to someone else has truly never crossed my mind.
Yolanda – Do you remember the name of the book? Maybe I need to read up on this. And I know you’re quite right – too many people get married for too many of the wrong reasons.
Los Angelista – I’m right there with you. Boggles my mind.
Hello,
I had to weigh in on this. I’m a man who’s committed adultery, infidelity, whatever you want to call it on several occasions throughout my marriage. I’m not proud of it. I finally confessed my actions to to my wife and she forgave me, but not before she did a lot of crying and cussing at me over a two year period.
I think Yolanda’s comment is on point. I’m a firm believer today that couples must undergo premarital counseling and openly discuss the fact that each will find other people attractive.
You see, my wife and I didn’t do that. She assumed I’d be faithful. I was already habitally playing around before my marriage, and chose not to stop after we took vows. I was never caught and figured I’d take those secrets to my grave, but God got ahold of me, shook me and told me to stop.
I’ve talked about adultery on my blog and it’s a sore topic among female readers, which is understandable. But it’s real.
Men at their core are basically flat out selfish and women who see a man as marriage material need to peel him like an onion, no matter how good he looks on the surface, before committing. Get to know who he really is.
I know, I’m a man. And I’m not all that unique.
Peace.
Pfunk – Thanks for weighing in. My husband and I did not undergo premarital counseling, and maybe we should have. That’s water under the bridge. I guess it just never occurred to me that I would have to tell him – or he tell me – that cheating was not acceptable in our marriage. I never assumed that we would walk through our marriage and never find another person attractive. I just believed – and still do – that we would remain faithful to ourselves, each other, and our vows. Time will tell whether or not that is the case when it is all said and done.
Did you assume that your wife would be faithful during the course of your marriage? The double standard “men will be men” argument really chaps my hide. If you don’t want to be monogamous, don’t get married – it doesn’t take premarital counseling to figure that out.
Anyhoo, I hope that all works out for you and yours. Thanks again for stopping by – don’t be a stranger. Peace.
Yeah, I assumed she would be faithful (although she did hint to me before we were married that something happened with another man while she was away at grad school, but I never found out what it was. And today I don’t care to know.)
You’re right, the men will be men thing is a double standard. I sometimes feel like I should have put the brakes on the marriage thing, but I also had been with this woman for several years and didn’t want her to feel like she wasted time, so I went ahead and did it.
Thanks for your warm welcome. I’ll be back.
Peace.