A Change Will Do You Good?

So, I’ve been visiting the church that runs the preschool Lovegirl attends.  I like the services, the pastor’s heart seems to be in the right place, and the congregation is friendly.  I’ve been thinking about moving my membership there.  I haven’t attended the church I’m an actual member of in almost 4 years.

Anyhoo, yesterday morning as I’m getting my worship on, the pastor introduces the new preschool director.  What?  My child has been enrolled in this school for nearly a year – one of the reasons I felt so comfortable enrolling her there was the “old” director.  Now, I’m being introduced to the “new” director – in church.  What if I hadn’t been in church yesterday?

I need a little notice when it comes to stuff like this.  I don’t know if the school will take a new direction – probably will, isn’t that what happens when a new administration takes office?  I don’t know if the new direction will be for the better or worse. 

This lady has already rubbed another parent the wrong way – when the parent went to pick her chid up on Friday, the new director ran over “who are you, who are you, what are you doing?”  The parent was like “I’m her mama – who are you?”  “Oh, oh, I’m Ms.  Firstname Lastname, the new director.”  “Nice to meet you Ms. Firstname – next time do a little checking before you run up on someone.”  “Oh yes, yes, but it is Ms. Lastname okay?  That goes for the children as well.”  Alrightie then. 

I know that people move on, that staff’s change, but I was hoping that the current administration/teachers at the preschool would remain constant for the next few years that Lovegirl wil be there.  I’m not as concerned with the afternoon teachers – they’re usually college students, and I understand there’s a good bit of turnover – I was okay with that.  I’m not sure how to feel about this change – in the immediate, I am not pleased.  I understand that the old director didn’t even know she’s been replaced until Thursday morning when the new lady showed up.  And that’s just wrong – particularly for a church-based school.  Nothing about that indicates that the school is doing things “decently and in order.” 

It is not that I think there’s anything wrong with the new lady – it’s just that I don’t know her – and I think that’s where the majority of my concerns lie. 

What do you think?  I need a little feedback on this one.  Of course, I’m going to talk to Smoochy about it, but I already know – whatever decision I make, he’ll be fine with.  Would you be concerned? 

She’s No Guppy

She’s a Pike!

“Lovegirl has improved so much!  She has overcome a lot over the past two weeks, I’m so proud of her!  She still needs to work on her kicking before I let her go, but she has gotten much better putting her face in.  Thank you for sharing her, she is adorable!”

And that, my friends, is how Lovegirl’s swimming lessons went.  You already know – I signed her up for another session – starts July 7.  Best $55 I’ve spent so far this summer!

No Me Gusta C.hick-Fil-A!

I try to feed my family healthy meals – choosing my ingredients wisely, limiting salt, not too much refined flour, limiting fast food,  no fried foods from my kitchen, you know the drill.

My weakness?  C.hick-Fil-A.  Oh, how I love those tasty little bits of fried chicken goodness!  And the waffle fries?  Nothing like a nice, fresh batch of hot, crispy deep fried potatoes, lightly salted to make my day. 

We may go once, twice a month.  I get a number 5, 8 piece, honey mustard sauce, sweet tea.  Lovegirl gets a 4 piece kids meal with apple juice.  Included in the kid’s meal is a toy of some sort – usually something leaning toward being educational as opposed to a piece of movie-related plastic.  Lovegirl had a thing for Dwight D. Eisenhower as a result of a presidential bookmark thingie they were giving away a few months ago.  I digress.

This month’s toy?  An intro to Spanish CD.  Why C.hick-Fil-A, why????  We now spend our daily commute repeating “Me llamo el Senor Gonzalez” y “Donde esta el bano por favor?”  That’s about 25 minutes of Spanish, twice a day, with a 3 year old who does not yet have a complete grasp of the English language and a mother who can’t say no to anything slightly educational.

Ayuda me, por favor!!!



It Aint My Fault

I happened to catch a little bit of the T.om J.oyner Morning Show during my commute this morning.  A caller was expressing her opinion – that if these “fast tailed girls” weren’t so hot, then the grown men sleeping with them wouldn’t want to sleep with them.  Or something to that effect.  I believe they’d been discussing the R K.elly case prior to this woman calling in.

Pissed me off.  I cannot stand when people blame the victims for the commissions of crime.  Period. 

I don’t care if the girl was walking down the street ass-out naked.  She was what, 15?  He’s 41! He is the adult.  He is the one that is supposed to exercise better judgement.  It really bothers me that people are so quick to point fingers at the “fast tailed girls.”  I just don’t get why people can’t, don’t understand that a 15 year old is a child.  A child.  I don’t care if her bra size is 42 triple F and she’s got hips too wide to squeeze through a regulation doorway – she is still a child.   That’s why she still lives at home – hopefully with her mama and daddy.  That’s why she’s called a minor.  That’s why she doesn’t work.  She is a child.  And children are here to be raised by adults.  Not blamed by them for being crime victims.

I know there are fast tailed girls out there.  And most of them are the way they are because they don’t have anyone in their lives to tell or show them any better – in my opinion.  Maybe not all, but most.  Mama Nerd Girl surely watched me with a hawk eye, and there was no way I’d be able to step out of the house with all my business hanging out.  But that’s my Mama.  Everyone is not as blessed as I am when it comes to parents and family support, and I know this. 

I am raising a daughter.  A beautiful one, in my opinion.  I will watch her with the same careful eyes that my mother did me.  If someone should take advantage of her – and it is my life’s prayer that this will not happen – I will blame the person with whom the blame lies – the sick criminal.  Not my daughter. 


She’s a Bad Mama Jama

. . . just as fine as she can be.

Lovegirl is taking swim lessons.  She’s three lessons in to her eight-lesson course.  Who knows if she’ll be able to swim at the end or not?  What I do know is that my girl is F-I-N-E.  Know how I know?

  • She runs into the dressing room full of anticipation – ready to strip down and suit up.
  • She looks in the mirror and says “this swimsuit is so cute, and so am I.”
  • When she sees her little buddies from school, who are taking lessons too, she runs up to them with a huge grin, and hugs them both – and they’re boys.
  • When she gets out of the pool, the first thing she does is run over and tell me how much fun her lesson was and that she can’t wait to come back.

Compare this to her mama.

  • When I enter the locker room, I find the most deserted corner and change clothes as quickly as I can, always careful to have at least one half of my bod covered at all times.
  • I have never looked in a mirror while wearing a swimsuit and said “I am cute.”
  • If I am in a swimsuit, and see anyone I know, my first thought is “thank God for cover ups” and my first inclination is to turn my head hoping they won’t notice me.  You know how easy it is to miss a 5’10″ woman with dreadlocks, right?
  • When I get out of the pool, the first thing I do is reach for my cover up.

I need to take a few lessons from my kid when it comes to self-acceptance and body image. 

I hope that she will always look in the mirror and think she’s cute.  I hope she will never pick herself apart, feature by feature and find fault with the way she looks.  I hope she will always be accepting of her friends, no matter what they – or she – looks like in a bathing suit.  I hope that God grants me the wisdom to teach my daughter lessons that I have not yet learned.

4 Things

1. I put spinach in my smoothie this morning – did not affect the taste at all!  Color either – I used mixed berries today.  So, go for it!  Let me know what you think.

2.  Yay Stephanie!  She won Top C.hef on B.ravo Wednesday night – first female to do so.

3.  Dear Lakers – you’re going to need to step your game up.  Now.

4.  Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there.  I hope you enjoy your day, the blessings that come with being a father, and precious time spent with your child(ren).  Have a great day!

The father of a righteous man has great joy;
he who has a wise son delights in him. – Proverbs 23:24

Wednesday Countdown

5 Things That Piss Me Off:

1.  Making fun of my name.  More specifically, making fun of my Mama while making fun of my name.  “Ooh girl, what was your mama smoking/drinking/thinking when she named you?!”  Well heifer, since you asked, she was thinking about naming me after a Kushite queen who ruled the entire Nubian kingdom – her husband was king in name only.  And if you’re going to talk about me, my mama, or my name, how about you actually KNOW me before you try and talk about my name?  I have never seen you before!

2.  People who do not stop for emergency vehicles.  Looka here genius – how would you feel if it was your loved one in the back of the ambulance or your house they were trying to save from burning down?  How ’bout you show some class, pull over, let those folks by, and then skeedaddle along your merry little way?

3.  Gas prices.  Sorry, I know that’s all that’s being talked about right now, but man . . .

4.  “Love In The C.lub.”  That is an ignit song.  I wish they’d release the next single so I can decide whether or not to write U.sher off completely or not.

5.  $4/5 a pound cherries.  I love cherries.  I look forward to the summer when I can indulge my love of their sweet tasty goodness.  I bought a small bag last weekend – 6 dollars and some change!  Yes, I know I could’ve put them back – but I didn’t.  I hate to think that I’ll only be able to afford one bag a year.

4 Things That Bring Me Joy:

1.  My picture board @ work.  I’ve got pics of friends, family, coworkers –  babies and grown folks alike tacked up in front of me.  I smile every time I look up.

2.  Smoothies.  I’ve been making them for breakfast on the regular, and I really can tell a difference in my hunger/cravings later on in the day.  Lately I’ve been on a peach/mango kick, but really, a handful of any frozen fruit, some soy milk, flaxseed, and maybe a little yogurt is a great way to start the day.  One of the commenters on Afrobella’s site mentioned tossing in a handful of baby spinach – says it affects the color, but not the taste – may try that next.

3.  Almonds.  The other day Lovegirl told me. “Mama, you’ve been eating those like a mad woman.”  Well yes dear, I have.  Can’t get enough of ‘em.

4.  Top C.hef.  Do you watch this show?  I love it!  Okay, it is a reality show, but in my opinion, one of the best out there.  I love, love, love it!  Tonight is the season finale – I was hoping Antonia would win, but she was eliminated last week due to undercooked pigeon peas of all things.  I’m now rooting for Stephanie – there’s never been a female winner this year, and with Obama making history,  I think it is high time for a female to do the same on T.op Chef!  Catch it on B.ravo if you’re so inclined.

3 Places I’d Rather Be:

1. Jamaica.  Best vacation ever – hands down!

2.  The bookstore.  Specifically, L.emuria in Jackson.  I love independent bookstores - most of the time their employees give awesome recommendations.  If I had lots of free time, I’d spend a good bit of it flipping through pages at L.emuria.

3.  Taco N.azo scarfing down delicately consuming as many fish tacos as I possibly could.  Never had one?  Oh you should try one in this lifetime – and not a fancy schmancy one in some overpriced restaurant – try a little, local taqueria.  Lightly battered and fried fish, shredded cabbage, a little green salsa and a squeeze of lime?  Delish.

2 Songs I’ve About Worn Out on My iPod:

1.  Round and Round – T.evin Campbell.  Remember this one?  Wonder what happened to young Mr. Campbell?

 2.  Rollout – L.udacris.  First song on my “Black Sweat” (workout) playlist.

1 Thing I’d Like to Say, But Cannot:

1.  I QUIT!


Did you have a good weekend?  Good.  I didn’t.

Not that mine was particularly bad, I’m just . . . in a mood.  In a mood I don’t want to be in.  Everything and everybody is getting on my nerves.  Smoochy, my husband, the man who is only home for 8, 9 days a month – worked my nerves this weekend.  I wanted him to leave the house.  And to take Lovegirl with him.  Even my baby got on my nerves – what’s up with that?

I wanted to be alone.  All alone.  Like before we were married alone.  Like when I kicked all of my roomates out of the house alone.  Unplug the phone, do not disturb alone. 

I cannot think of the last time I was truly alone.  Sure, sometimes on the weekends Smoochy takes Lovegirl for a couple of hours – they go visit friends and relatives, but just when I am exhaling, and reveling in the joy that solitude brings – they’re back.  And while I’m happy to see them, I’m not thrilled that my alone time has come to an end.

So, here I sit, at work, slightly pissed.  Wishing I were alone.


Today is Tuesday, June 3, 2008.

Today I am 35 years, 7 months old.  Smoochy is 36 years, 3 months old.  Lovegirl is 3 years, 9 months old.

Today, Barack Hussein Obama – a man born of an African father, and a White American mother is expected to be declared the Democratic nominee for PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 

Today, something that I did not realize I dare not dream has occurred.

Today, this evening, I am once again “full.”  I am not a writer, and have never claimed to be.  Perhaps that is why words elude me as I try to express my thoughts and feelings at this moment.

When Mr. Obama announced his candidacy, I’ll be honest - “impossible” was the first thing that came to my mind.  But the man has overcome many obstacles, many naysayers, won support from people I never would have, could have imagined.  He ran a clean race, a decent race, the type of race I did not think it was possible for a politician – of any race, creed, or color to run.

I am not foolish enough to think that Mr. Obama can fix everything that is wrong with this country.  The economy is garbage – people are losing jobs left and right, gas prices are ridiculous – $3.78/gallon in our neck of the woods, well into the $4 range in larger cities across the country.  We are still engaged in a not-so-well thought out or executed war – simply pulling out makes about as much sense as staying – none.  Crime is horrible across the country – just a few weeks ago, police found a woman who worked at the hospital with me dead in her home with her neck slashed – the motive was robbery.  People of color are still suffering indignities – at the hands of the police, at the hands of the justice system, at the hands of their own people.

But.  Mr. Obama speaks of change.  A movement away from politics as usual.  A nation where people are working, and prospering, and educated, and health care is not a luxury item. 

Today, there is a very real possibility that a black man could be the next President of the United States. 

I’ve always wondered how people who’ve lived through historic moments in our country felt – the Vietnam War, the assassinations of Kennedy, King, Shabazz, being granted the right to vote, the abolition of slavery, the end of segregation.

Today, I am living in a historical moment.  And I am in awe.