This morning Smoochy called me while I was driving in to work. Somehow the conversation turned to Lovegirl and the fair. I told him that I was planning to take Lovegirl to the fair tomorrow since it has finally stopped raining and this is the last weekend the fair will be in town. I asked what time he’d be home Saturday and did he want us to wait for him so he could go with us. He was like “nope, I don’t want to go, y’all go ahead.”
So, I got mad. Not screaming, cursing mad – ’cause really, that’s not my style – but straight silent treatment mad. (And yes, I realize this may be a little passive-aggressive)
I told Smoochy that I thought it important that he and Lovegirl do more during their time together – remember, he drives trucks and is home for about 1.5 days a week – than sit on the couch and watch Noggin. That he needs to do things with her, take her places, etc. His reply? “But I don’t like the fair.” Dude, really? I’m not a big fan of the MS State Fair (no offense) but I take Lovegirl because she likes it - not out of any desire I have to smell deep fried dough and ride rides operated by less-than-savory-looking folks.
Anyhoo, I got to thinking about my father and the time he spent with us. And I’ve got to say – it wasn’t much. My parents have been married for 38 years. My dad has always worked hard and is and was an excellent provider. Even in what I now recognize as lean years financially, we were good – my father worked two jobs for a number of years to ensure this. However when I think about fun family times I primarily think about my mom and my brothers. Vacations? With my mom and brothers. Weekends? Mom and brothers. Sitting up late at night tripping out? Well, you get my drift. My father has always been present in our lives, but he wasn’t really involved. And now that we are all adults it is very obvious. When we all get together and start tripping out – he’s kind of an outsider. We’re all very close to my mom. We love our father, but the relationship just isn’t the same. And I want more for Lovegirl and Smoochy.
Lovegirl is very much a daddy’s girl – she would kick me to the curb in a heartbeat to spend time with him. And I guess for her whether they are out and about or at home on the couch watching Noggin doesn’t matter. I’m just wondering if it will always be this way.
I don’t want to project my issues on to Lovegirl and Smoochy’s relationship, but I also don’t want Smoochy to be sitting around looking crazy in 15, 20 years wondering why he and Lovegirl don’t have more of a relationship. I’m not sure I’m articulating this the way I want to, but does that make sense?
What, if anything, would you do in this situation? Should I just leave Smoochy alone and let the chips fall where they may? Am I trippin’ and projecting too much? Whaddya think?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts – have a great weekend – we’re off to the fair!