That Darn Lovegirl!

Lovegirl:  Mama?

Nerd Girl:  Yes?

Lovegirl:  The world would be so much better if more people looked like me.

Self esteem?  Check.  Humility?  Not so much.

* * * * *

Lovegirl:  Mama, I need a band aid.

Nerd Girl:  For what?

Lovegirl:  I’ve got grape juice coming out of my knee.

Nerd Girl:  What?

Lovegirl:  Grape juice.  It’s coming out of my knee.  I need a band aid.

Nerd Girl:  Honey, that’s not grape juice, that’s blood.

Lovgirl:  Blood, grape juice, I am so confused.  At church they say you’re drinking the blood of Jesus.  Then you told me it wasn’t really blood, it was grape juice.  Then I tell you there’s grape juice coming out of my knee and you say it is blood.  I don’t know what y’all are talking about!

Note to self:  must figure out how to explain symbolism to 5 year old.

* * * * *

I got the results of Lovegirl’s standardized testing back.  Overall, she did really well.  Apparently she listens on a 6th grade level.  Which my Mom says is impossible – she doesn’t stop talking long enough to listen – much less on a 6th grade level.  Ouch.  But true.  And…she scored below average in one area.  Life.  Yeah, life.  How the heck does a 5 year old score below average in life?!?  Is she on the playground smoking blunts, drinking 40s and talking about going to the club???  What does this even mean?  I give.

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6 thoughts on “That Darn Lovegirl!

  1. ROTFL @ below average at life!! Who decides this for 5yos??? Do you really tell a child, “You suck at life??” Such a hot mess of hilarity!

  2. OMG! I’m just cracking up at her. She continues to slay me. As GP said, she reminds me soooooo much of myself as a little girl. LOL @ humility – not so much!

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