You Pick A Title – I Got Nothing

Lovegirl’s class is studying Mississippi.  For the last few days I’ve heard about white tailed deer, magnolia trees, and wood ducks.  Apparently they’ve been discussing music as well.  And my abusive tendencies.

Were you able to read that??  Yeah, it says “I get the Mississippi blues when my Mom spanks me.”  And the picture?  That would be me beating her.  Her bubble (she’s on the left) says “wah” – she’s crying.  My bubble says “what!” – which is apparently what I said the last time she got a write up.  That’s a write up I’m holding in my hand.  And that red thing?  Her “sore, red bottom.”  I’m expecting a call from CPS any day now…

It’s Tuesday, I’m Random

  • I’m an aunt again.  My brother and his wife had the baby yesterday.  Hopefully we’ll see her before she’s thirty.  The baby, not the wife.  Sigh.
  • FYI:  T.arget has all of their winter cardigans on sale for $9.  Or maybe $9.98, can’t remember.  Anyhoo, I picked up a solid black one ’cause I didn’t have one – I didn’t stick around to see what other colors were available. 
  • I need a pistachio intervention.  I have been knocking back pistachios like a madwoman.  These salt and pepper pistachios are just dee-darn-licious.  Yeah, I wanted to curse.  But I’m working on that.  Again.
  • Lovegirl is in the midst of a read-a-thon at school.  She’s pledged to read for 25 minutes a night.  Do you know how many kiddie books we can go through in 25 minutes?  I guess we’ll start on War and Peace next.
  • Did you know J.esse Owen’s name was James Cleveland Owens?  And that a teacher misunderstood him when he told her his name was J.C. and that’s how he became Jesse?  Me either.  But I do now.  Thank you read-a-thon.  Tomorrow I’ll fill y’all in on Bessie Coleman.  Or not.
  • Smoochy ran me hot by demanding trying to demand that I sit outside with Lovegirl while she plays.  So not going to happen.  I think the block is quiet and slow enough for her to play in the garage/driveway without me hovering over her the whole time.  I check on her frequently, and I was good with that.  Smoochy, not so much.  Lovegirl may never again see the light of day – I’m not trying to argue with Smoochy or sit outside for hours at a time.  What’s the worst that could happen?   A vitamin D deficiency and a mild case of rickets…
  • Speaking of interventions, I also need one for nail polish.  I have no business buying any more nail polish for the next decade or so.  That didn’t stop me from buying a greenish blue color at U.lta on Sunday.  So purty!
  • R.ush L.imbaugh had been taking shots at Mrs. O.bama’s figure and eating habits! o_O
  • I’m bored with food.  I’m not sure how that happened, but nothing is appealing to me right now.  Let me rephrase that – nothing healthy is appealing to me.  I thought I’d get myself out of my food rut and cook a nice, healthy Sunday dinner – cabbage, baked chicken, rice.  All I ate was the cabbage.  And then couldn’t figure out why I was light-headed that night.  I need something good, healthy, and “new” to eat – Jameil and KRock – I’m coming for your food blogs – help me out!
  • Alright, I’m off to do some work. Oh wait, no I’m not.  My Mama should be calling for our daily talk-while-she-commutes chat in 5, 4, 3…

Black History Month and Little Brown Children

What happened to Black History Month?  I haven’t heard much about it, seen any specials on TV and were it not for the news anchor mentioning Garrett Morgan and the stoplight this morning, I might have forgotten all about it.  Is it because I’m older?  Has Black History Month somehow gone away?  Is it because Obama is President?

When I was pregnant I just knew that when my little one was school-age I’d teach her all about Black History.  I’d tell her about slavery, the struggle, determination, and ingenuity of our ancestors and give her the twice as good speech.  I haven’t done any of that.

I’m conflicted y’all.  How do you (if you do) teach your children about Black history without, well, fostering anger?  It is hard for me – as an almost 40 year old woman – to read about and study Black history without anger.  How do I teach my child about the past without planting seeds of anger in her little spirit?  I can’t let her grow up thinking that she’s on equal footing because she isn’t.  I don’t care how far we’ve come, racism is still alive and well and at some point it will affect her, no matter how subtly.

But I guess it is like everything else – I’ve just got to remember to be age appropriate with her and not start off with slavery or trying to recruit her into the Bla.ck P.anthers.  We went to the library the other day and are reading about Ronald McN.air, Be.ssie Coleman and J.esse Owens.  So far, so good.  Though she was pissed as all get out when she realized “Ron” couldn’t check books out of the library just because he was black.  Color her hot!

The other night I took her to see C.ornel West at JSU – color her unimpressed.  I, on the other hand, was both encouraged and motivated by Dr. West’s speech.

What, if anything, have you done to celebrate Black History Month?  Do you think there’s a need for Black History Month?  What do you tell your children about Black History?  (And though I think 99.99 percent of my readers are black, these questions are open to any and every body!)

Have a great week!

When They Reminisce Over You, My God.

So my post about my first date coupled with Pserendipity’s post about dating expectations really got me to reminiscing over my tawdry dating past.  I have dated some capital L Losers!  I’m so glad those dudes are not Mr. Nerd Girl I don’t know what to do.  Thank God for Smoochy!

I was never a serial dater.  Usually, if we went out?  We ended up going out.  I guess because I did all of my dating in college, who knows?  Anyhow, my freshman year I dated this dude named Foots.  Well, that was his last name.  But it tickled me, so that’s what I called him.  Yep, I’ve always been silly.

Foots was the cousin of my cousin’s boyfriend.  See how that worked?  Foots did not go to school on the yard.  Foots didn’t go to school anywhere.  Foots was a mechanic.  No, no, not a mechanical engineer.  Not an aviation mechanic.   A straight up I- can-fix-your-carbureator mechanic.  Oh yeah, I was a genius  – well worth the tuition money my parents spent.   We met at some picnic my cousin dragged me to.  And we ended up going out to dinner.  And then dating for the next four or five months.  My Mama met Foots at Homecoming.  She was not impressed.  At all.  But, everybody was dating somebody and I was not going to be left out.  Besides Foots had a car, made good money and was always willing to take me out.  So all was well in my little world.  Until I realized I really didn’t like Foots.  He was just something to keep me occupied.

So I decided to break up with Foots.  One day he came to pick me up and I was like, “yeah, I don’t like you and don’t want to see you anymore.”  Have I mentioned I’ve never been real smooth?  Pretty much always straight to the point.  He then proceeded to tell me in no uncertain terms that he was gonna whip my ass.  Um, no.  So I told him that wouldn’t be happening and I picked up a pipe that just so happened to be laying nearby (thank you Jesus!) and started swinging.  I didn’t hit him, he didn’t hit me.  A few days later he apologized and asked if we could get back together.  Sir.  Put down the crack you have got to be smoking.  Hell no.

He called me a few more times and then decided that moving on from all of this goodness  that is Nerd Girl was in his best interest.  But not before he “stole” my car.  While we were dating, my ’78 Honda Accord needed some minor repairs and since we were dating, and he was a mechanic, he fixed my ride.  I offered to pay and he was like “nah.”  You don’t have to tell me twice.  But after the breakup he apparently changed his mind.  I went outside one morning and my car was gone.  Gone y’all.  I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do.  So I went inside and told my roommate that my car was gone.  She was able to confirm that it was indeed no longer in the driveway.  About 10 minutes after we finished our brilliant detective work, my phone rang.  Oh yeah, it was Foots.  “Missing something?’  “Where is my car?”  “Until you pay me, I’m not bringing it back.”  Seriously?  This joker took my car hostage?

So I called his Mama.  And my car was back in driveway in less than an hour.  Mama Foots always did like me :) 

My car was back, I was free to roam around the Bluff and date my next victim boyfriend.  You know, the one  I met when I skated into him at the skating rink.  But I guess that’s a whole ‘nother story for another day!

Foots will always be #1 on my “worst dude I ever dated” list.  Who’s #1 on yours???

Date Night!

I was on the phone yesterday and the subject of first dates came up…I remember mine well.

It was 1989, senior year of high school, and I was a fly young thing of 15.  Okay, I was a young thing of 15.  The flyness had yet to appear.  Anyhoo, I didn’t date much at all.  I went to school and hung out with my friends.  Dudes weren’t even on my radar.

My best friend all through high school was a PK  and her hormones kicked in well before mine did.  She wanted to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with this dude – let’s call him Bobby, mostly ’cause that was his name – but her pastor dad told her she couldn’t go unless I went.  I didn’t want to go.  She begged me.  Nope.  Please.  Okay.  Problem was there was not a single dude I was interested in asking to the dance.  So she told me not to worry – she’d find me a date.  She suggested this guy who’d recently started going to her church.  Okay, fine.  I’m in.  We’d meet the night of the Sadie Hawkins dance.  My first date and I was going in blind.

The day of the dance rolled around and we planned our outfits, agreed on a pickup time, and I went to my bathroom to flip my hair and rim my eyes with blue eyeliner courtesy of Wet n Wild.  What?  It was the 80’s!  Anyhoo, I heard the doorbell ring and after I waited a few minutes I went up front in all my primped and glossed glory.  And there he was – my date.  As gay as the day is long.  On top of his head was some dry member of the curl family – Jheri, California, S – hell, I don’t know, his sweet little lips were pursed and he had to be at least 4 inches shorter than me.  My parents were so damn happy they were about to bust!  “You girls have a great time!  No curfew!  Stay out as long as you like!  See you in the morning!”

And off we went.  And I had a ball!  My friend’s date showed up at some point in the evening, but by then we didn’t care.  We were having such a good time just “us girls” that he was a total afterthought.  And that was my first date.  Do you remember yours?  How was it?

Oh, you want pictorial evidence of the frivolity that took place that night?  No problema.  It’s a picture of a picture, but it’ll have to do!  Enjoy :)

Yay or Nay?

And if yay, what would I wear them with?  I haven’t owned any navy shoes since the mid 80’s when I was rocking them with a navy suit and navy stockings…don’t act like you don’t know!

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Taming the Tongue – Challenge!

My mother has thrown down the gauntlet….no negative speak about anyone for a week.  I cannot pass up a good challenge – and this is going to be more challenging than it should be.

So, for a week – Sunday to Saturday – I am not going to utter anything negative about anyone.  Jesus be a fence.

Anybody else in? 

You can check out my Mom’s spot for all the details.

Have a great weekend!

Family Randoms

  • When we were home for Christmas, we went to my Grandma’s on Christmas Day.  Which has been family tradition as long as I can remember.  We were the only ones there.  If we hadn’t come, my Grandma would’ve been alone on Christmas Day.  The others didn’t come because they had “stuff” to do.  Oh, okay.  But please remember that your mom/grandma/great grandma/great great grandma will be 90 in June.  Don’t be slinging snot when she dies talking about you wish you had just one more day with her.
  • I called Smoochy to tell him about last night’s labor story.  He was like “uh, uh.  Y’all too nice.  I’da told that joker not to call me now – call whoever the heck (okay, he said hell) he’s been talking to for the last 5 years when he wasn’t talking to us.”  Have I mentioned that Smoochy can be a whole lot less forgiving than me?  Yeah…
  • My middle brother sent me a picture of his dog walking on the treadmill.  I almost fell out the bed laughing.  Pure foolishness.
  • We were on the phone a long time last night talking about my youngest brother.  I’d be lying if I said my feelings aren’t hurt over how he has so easily kicked us all to the curb.  I don’t think about it often, and it doesn’t bother me all the time, but sometimes I really think about it and I cannot believe the rift that currently exists in my family.
  • I would understand his “leaving and cleaving” better if someone had actually done something to his wife.   Sigh.
  • Smoochy has, for the last 11 years, always saved the scoop out of the box of laundry detergent.  He insisted on keeping the old scoop until the new box of detergent had been opened and the scoop secured.  I have teased him about being scoopless in childhood and how it damaged him.  Wouldn’t you know the box of detergent I opened last night had no scoop?!?  I’ll never tell Smoochy how happy I was to see the old scoop sitting on the shelf  :)
  • I am going home tonight to play in makeup.  I want to learn how to do a good looking bold eye.  Yeah, okay, that had nothing to do with the family randoms, but I felt like y’all would want to know!

Monday Morning Randoms

  • Met Jameil – and her Mom – for lunch on Friday.   We ate Vietnamese – yum!  I had lemongrass chili chicken; next time I’m definitely trying a hot pot.  I was kinda out of it, and I’m blaming it on Lovegirl.  But I think we had a good time.   Jameil?
  • Speaking of Lovegirl, my kid tried to master the art of eating with chopsticks.  One grain of rice at a time.
  • Loved the A.udi commercial during the game last night – did you see it?  Hilarity!
  • Hated that the Steelers lost.  Ah well.  There’s always next season.
  • My reading of male-authored blogs is falling off – between blogs going private and my being banned, it’s ladies’ night almost every night!  Anybody have any suggestions where the fellas are concerned?
  • I finished Wench.  A couple of weeks ago.  Now I have to re-read it so I can do the book club post.  I give myself the side eye for that one.
  • Next time I blog about a purse I like?  Please tell me to just go buy the darn thing.  I let yet another one slip through my fingers at T.J. M.axx.  I’ve been dreaming about that  purse…
  • I managed to almost set my house on fire twice this weekend.  All in the name of a cup of tea.  Friday (I think) I let all the water boil out of the pot and the tea kettle burned into and got stuck on the stove’s eye.  Lesson learned?  Nope.  Last night I used my other kettle.  And promptly let all the water boil out of that one.  It got so hot that the knob on top fell off and the lid melted into the kettle.  Sigh.
  • Do you/your friends have a hard time coming to a consensus about where to go for Girl’s Night Out?  They ran me so warm on Saturday, I said forget it and just went to sleep.
  • My boss hired one of her best friends to be our new Admin.  No comment.
  • Sticking fish oil capsules in your bra because you have no pockets and are rushing out of the house is not a good idea.  Unless a well greased decolletage is a priority for you on a Monday morning.

Make it great!