If you decide that your new fitness routine will involve 90 minutes of exercise on Monday evenings – 45 minutes of tone & sculpt and 45 minutes of Zumba? It’s a good idea to eat something more substantial than a peanut butter sandwich at 1:30 thinking that’ll hold you until 7:45. It won’t.
If you buy a $10 bottle of shampoo and a $10 tub of conditioner in an effort to impart moisture into you and your daughter’s hair, it is very likely that your follicularly challenged (bald) husband will use them both and tell you how wonderfully supple they made his scalp. Sir…
One of the first books I read this year was what I consider a “throwaway book.” Something I grabbed off the “recommended by” shelf at the library. Nothing I’d set out to read, just something to pass the time. The books was “Swapping Lives” and as you might imagine it was about two women who trade lives – the harried, married mother in America switches lives with the fabulous and free single lady in London.
Even though the book was relatively predictable, it was a good fun read and it got me to thinking – if I could switch lives with anyone, what would I want my switched life to look like?
I’d live in a bigger city (preferably one with good public transportation), I’d work a job that was more oriented toward helping people improve their lives, I’d take in fantastic cultural offerings, I’d eat Thai food on a regular basis, I’d work out more, I’d cook fantastic meals, I’d spend more time outside, and I’d have a fabulously clean and organized home.
Yeah. Except for the city living and fantastic cultural offerings, I can do all of that right here and right now. So I’m going to stop waiting for what I think “perfection” is and deal with what I can in my present circumstances.
What would your switched life look like? Anything you can implement in the here and now?
- I’m not saying anything about alternatives to partial hysterectomy.
- There’s a 99.9% chance that I’m going to the baby’s dedication. Mostly because I don’t want ”them” to be able to say that we aren’t supportive. Moving on.
- Okay, so I just started reading “Warmth….” last night. And I’m already about 25% of the way through – it’s a pretty easy read, so if you haven’t started, no worries. You can do it.
- I lost those 4 pounds again! Yippee! Go go small girl what u gon’ do???
- I just got in trouble at work for not making the faculty turn grades in in a timely manner. Sigh.
Yep, that’s it. I’ve got to get to work sending emails to the faculty letting them know they didn’t turn in their grades…oh, the excitement of it all! I hope you have a loverly weekend. The weather around here is supposed to be great and I plan on spending some time outdoors. Be blessed!
1. Have Pserendipity remind you that y’all are having a garage sale in two days.
2. Post an ad on Crai.gslist advising the general public that all of your
crap fantastic earthly treasures will be available for purchase.
3. Go to bed at 9 on the Friday night before the garage sale.
4. Wake up at 5 on Saturday and look around your house for random treasures to sell.
5. Put said treasures in back of car along with sleep daughter.
6. Hightail it over to Pserendipity’s and lay wares out.
7. Pray that you make $20 to offset the price of a purse you’ve been coveting.
8. End up making $47 – a good portion of which came from Pserendipity’s neighbor who was having the sale with us.
9. Walk around talking smack about your riches.
10. Ensure that you have something that will really catch buyers’ attention and reel them in:
- So today I decided to step out of my comfort zone by wearing a dress and patterned tights. Why are my legs (bottom half) so skinny that you can’t even tell the tights have a pattern? I could’ve saved two bucks and just bought plain black tights.
- One of my FB friends posts her s e x drive percentage every day. I’m not sure why she thinks anyone but her husband cares. I’m about to hide her.
- Lovegirl got another write up this week. For talking, being disruptive, being disrespectful…I wanted to cry.
- One of my friends is in the hospital. She didn’t want anybody to know. I don’t understand that. I understand you don’t want everybody and their mama dropping in, but to go into the hospital for a major procedure and not tell anyone ’cause you don’t want to bother them? Negative. I went to see her yesterday – she was still knocked out. I’m going back today. She can get mad if she wants to.
- December, much like the rest of 2010 is flying by. I’m so behind.
- I really, really, really need The Chipmunk to stop listening to all my telephone conversations. You know what, that’s not even true. I need her to stop commenting on the conversations she’s listening to. I can’t hang up good before she’s saying “ooooh, did I hear you say you’re flying into Ontario?” Um…
- Okay, it is obvious that I need new FB friends. One of my friends just posted that she’ll be giving out coupons from coupon.com for Christmas. No ma’am. I’m almost positive your recipients would rather get a heartfelt “Merry Christmas” and a big hug! Coupons????
- Anybody read anything good (in paperback) lately? I’m looking for some good reading material for the plane.
- Smoochy and his people are the only folks I know who eat and like those chocolate covered cherries that pop up this time of year. Anybody else eat them? I’ve never tried them and have no desire to (but I totally would if I were on The A.mazing Race Mrs. TDJ!)
‘Tis all! Have a wonderful weekend. If your weather is anything like ours? Stay cool, then stay warm. Peace.
If your daughter’s ends start looking a little ragged and you try to trim them yourself? You will end up paying S.uperC.uts to correct the mess you made and your daughter will spend a great portion of the evening looking like the world’s shortest D.iana R.oss impersonator.
- The prospect of watching N.ick Jr. all day more than makes up for missing a Valentine’s Day party at school.
- When the D.ISH network goes out – and it will go out – there will be much wailing, moaning, and gnashing of teeth. The resident child will be pretty upset too!
- That DVR thingie? Learn to use it and record at least 12 hours of shows that will occupy a small child.
- Buy more junk food. Short people rebel after a steady diet of carrots, apple slices and cheese sticks.
- H.ulu rocks! As did the documentary S.upersize Me. (Yes, yes, I know I’m way late with this one)
- If you work in a hospital, you are pretty much expected to come to work no matter what. It is at times like this one is particularly glad to use one’s child as an excuse.
- Everyone should have at least 2 snow days a year.
- Magic shows put on by five year old children suck.
- Do rush to the store the night before the predicted snowstorm to buy milk. However else will you make cornbread to go with the requisite pot of beans and rice?
- Daytime television pretty much sucks. See number 3 and adapt for adults.
- Snow, in small Mississippi increments? Be-yooo-tiful!
If you get out of your car and then hop in the back seat with your kid to calm her fears about a thunderstorm and close the door behind you and you have the child safety lock thingie on? You will be forced to climb from the back seat to the front seat to escape – likely kicking your kid in the forehead with 3″ heels.
Or so I’ve heard.
No matter how good an idea it seems while you’re sitting in class praying for 6:00 so that you can implement your “genius” plan, consuming copious amounts of wine and then attempting to iron 4 baskets of clothes is NOT a good idea.
Consider yourself schooled . . .