Naw, Player, Naw!

Anybody else call their daddy last night crying and screaming ’cause they saw a mouse in their kitchen?  No?  Just me?

Have you ever read my “100 things about me page?”  Please, go take a looksie – at number 38 in particular.

So when I saw that thing I about fell out! I called Smoochy hollering about the mouse I just saw and he said “uh, what do you want me to do? I’m in Texas.” Wrong answer sir.  Wrong answer.  I told him to call his daddy, consult the book of good husbands, call a friend and call me back when he had something better to say to me.  I don’t require a lot of hand holding or rescuing on a regular basis, but my fear of the rodent is real and I need some comforting.

So I did what any self respecting 40 year old woman would do – I called my father and told him I was freaked out.  And that I had some smothered potatoes on the stove I needed to get, but I was scared.  But that I didn’t want to burn the house down.  And all this hollering and crying I was doing?  Was silent – like Edvard Munch’s The Scream. I didn’t want to freak LG out – no need to pass on what I realize is an irrational fear to her.  So I’m sitting on my bed, crying, asking my dad to help me.  From 1800 miles away.  And you know what?  He helped me.  He told me to calm down, take some deep breaths, and not to scare LG.  He told me he’d stay on the phone with me while I went downstairs and turned the potatoes off.  And he did.

If you’re wondering where LG was during all of this – she was at the table eating her dinner.  Ignorance is bliss.

I got the potatoes off the stove.  I told LG to finish her dinner so we could go to karate/the gym and we broke camp.

Smoochy called back and asked me if I wanted to check into a hotel for the night.  I sure the heck did.  But I didn’t.  I realized that’s a waste of funds.  But God in heaven knows I really, really, really, really wanted to pack a bag and go check in somewhere.  So he tells me he’ll call me back.  After I dropped LG off at karate, but before I made it to the gym, he called back telling me he’d be home today and that the exterminator was coming at 9:00.  That sir?  Is the right answer.

We made it home.  I got LG bathed and in bed and I watched a fantastic episode of S.candal.  If you don’t watch – you are missing out I tell ya!  Anyhow, I finally fell asleep around 11, but I kept waking up and looking around my room ’cause I thought I  heard a mouse.  Phobias are real y’all.

Thank God we made it out of the house without another sighting.  I hope Smoochy and el exterminator work it out this morning ’cause I just can’t deal with any other possibility.

And tomorrow?  Somebody please call me to make sure I haven’t passed out from inhaling bleach fumes – the whole house is getting a wipe down!

Just yuck!!!!!!!

 

 

WWYD

So…I’m sitting at work sharpening pencils (oh, it’s glamorous around here y’all) when the phone rings.  I recognize the number from LG’s school.  I answer and find myself talking to LG’s substitute teacher.

The substitute tells me that she told LG to stop playing in the sink and to come out of the bathroom.

LG told her “no, I don’t want to” and kept playing in the water.

Sub told her again.  LG replies “I already told you, I’m playing. I don’t want to come out.”

Sub tells her that she’s going to get the principal.  LG tells her “fine, I’ll come out but only because you’re threatening to tell on me.”

W.H.A.T?????????

I ask to speak to LG and she confirms the story.

What, dear reader, would you do if this was your child talking jazzy to a teacher?  I really, really wanna know!!!!

(Mostly) Angry Blah Woman Randoms

• Thanks everyone for your suggestions regarding washing/detangling/styling LG’s hair.  I will definitely be washing it in braids from here out!
• I cannot believe R.ick S.antorum is crazy enough to think that the public is crazy enough to think he actually said “blah” people and not black people. Sir, you are definitely a contender for O_o award of 2012 – and we’re only 10 days into the year.
• I am about halfway through the Henrietta Lacks story.  I don’t know why I am continually amazed at how people in power abuse and profit off those with less power.  But I am.  Geez.
• The Steelers are out of the playoffs. Now I’ve got to find a team to root for the rest of the season.  Definitely won’t be the Saints!!!
• And I’m glad LSU got rolled last night!  Yeah, I’m not really down with the Louisiana teams…
• I came to the realization yesterday (yep, I’m a little slow) that the way I’m eating while on this fast is how I should be eating the majority of the time.  Duh!  Definitely working on incorporating more fruits, vegetables and whole grains into our diet.  Even LG said last night’s vegetable soup was tasty.
• My crockpot is working overtime.  I’ve put something in it every night for the last couple of nights and I wake up to a nice lunch/dinner for the day.
• Seriously???  Slave-centered math questions???
• I need a new soup recipe.  Anybody made anything fabulous lately?  Think I shall spend the afternoon trying to find something appealing.
• Just found out our previous governor pardoned 8 killers during his two terms in office.  The law that allows governors to do this should be repealed.  That’s all kinds of ridiculous.
• I finally made something from Pinterest.

Behold! My paper clip bookmark. You know you're impressed!

Okay, so maybe the first picture didn't impress you. But now that you see it in action, you're impressed. Right? Riiiiight.

NOTW: OPI's "How You Blue-In" I love this color! It's a little more teal IRL, but I'm finding it hard to accurately shoot these polishes...

What Is Wrong With These People???

http://www.wapt.com/politics/29584149/detail.html

Go ahead, watch the video…I’ll wait!

 

Personhood

Have you heard about the personhood movement?  Basically anti-abortionists are moving to change state constitutions to redefine “personhood” so that any fertilized egg – regardless of when/how/where the egg was fertilized is considered a person with rights under the law.  And Mississippi will apparently have this measure on the ballot in November.

I am well aware of the old adage that it is not polite to discuss politics or religion.  I’m about to discuss both.

It really pisses me off when people decide they want to legally mandate what a woman can and cannot do with her body as it relates to reproduction.  Particularly when they are not going to provide any assistance or resources one way or the other.

Let’s take 17 year old Nerd Girl for example.  I was raped by someone (dude was never caught) my sophomore year of college.  Now, I’ve thanked God many, many, many times over that I did not contract any diseases or become pregnant as a result.  But what if I had gotten pregnant?

If I’d kept the baby – as the personhood people would like to mandate – I would’ve been a 17 year old, uneducated, black, single mother.  I am hard pressed to believe that any of the people lobbying so hard against abortion would’ve opened their arms, hearts and homes to adopt the child they demand I not abort. I also find it hard to believe that they would’ve provided me with any of the resources necessary to raise a child.  Because you know, don’t have the baby if you can’t feed the baby.

I’m a Christian.  And I can’t say for sure what I would’ve done had I found myself pregnant, but I’m almost certain I would’ve terminated the pregnancy.  And I’m pretty sure God would’ve forgiven me.

I know that this will be presented to voters as anti-abortion legislation.  And that will appeal to the majority of voters in this conservative, primarily Republican state.  But.  What many people don’t realize (and yes, I’m going to find a way to actively campaign against this measure) is that the consequences will reach far beyond a woman’s ability to “just” have an abortion at will.  Ectopic pregnancy?  Too bad.  That’s a person in your fallopian tube – you cannot terminate.  And yeah, untreated ectopic pregnancies can lead to maternal death.  Infertile?  Too bad.  IVFs would most likely not be done anymore because destroying any embryos that weren’t implanted or selectively reducing the embryos would be considered murder.  11 year old girl molested and pregnant?  Too bad.  The scenarios go on and on.

This kind of stuff is just bullshit to me.  Pardon my french.  These people claim to want smaller government.  They say that government is too big and has too much authority.  Yet they want to climb all up in women’s uteruses (uteri, I think) and legislate that most personal of space.  Get the hell out.  Literally and figuratively.

I’m not really sure what I can do within the confines of my job – as a state employee who works in bioethics – but I just cannot keep silent on this one.

That right there? The reason I don’t eat at work potlucks!!!

I work in one of four cubicles in our office space.  Our shared bathroom has an outer room – with a sink, mirror, etc. and an inner room – where just the toilet is located.

I open the door and walk into the bathroom today and see two plates of fruit sitting in there.  WTH?  So I say something like “why the hell is there fruit in the bathroom?”  Okay really…that’s exactly what I said.  There go my professionalism points for the day….

Here comes the annoying secretary lady Chipmunk.  “I did.”  “Why?”  “Well, so-and-so told me to move it from the breakroom table because she was having a lunch catered and I couldn’t get to the refrigerator so I put it in here.”  “Dear God, that is disgusting.  I’m really not understanding why you put food in the bathroom.”  “Well, I think you’re the only one who thinks this is the bathroom.  I consider the inner room (with the toilet) to be the bathroom.”

I truly hope they remember this day when they ask why I’m eating a peanut butter sandwich at the holiday potluck!!!

Do any of y’all think only the part with the toilet is the bathroom?  Am I tripping?  On second thought, I don’t want to know…

(And while I realize this is not reflected in today’s post, I feel much better today!!!)

Ready For The Weekend Randoms

Hey y’all!  Happy Friday!  What are you up to this weekend?  I’ve got a ticket to the JSU/ASU game – the Capital City Classic.  So, of course, heavy rain is forecast for tomorrow.  I may go anyhow – I definitely won’t melt! 

• First a recommendation for mammograms at a later age and now a recommendation for fewer pap smears?  I think this is irresponsible at best, deadly at worst.
• Yesterday at her Thanksgiving program, Lovegirl had a piece of paper with her speech written on it in case she forgot her lines.  And of course, she consulted the paper several times during her speech.  Cool.  Except that she can’t read!!!  At least not about Pilgrims and Plymouth Rock.  Maybe if the whole speech had pertained to hogs, dogs, cats, bats, and hats…..what a con artist!
• Y’all, I have some internet trolls.  Is that what they’re called?  Anyhow, they’ve been leaving comments about how bad Lovegirl is and that she’ll be pregnant in 5 years (WTH???) if I don’t get her under control.  This is the only mention they’ll be receiving, so I hope they bask in whatever glory they get from it.  Losers.
• I tried to talk my people into pizza for Thanksgiving dinner.  They weren’t trying to hear me, so let the cooking being.  Turkey roast, collards, dressing, mac and cheese, rolls, sweet potato pie and cranberry sauce.  That. Is. All.
• Why are smoked turkey wings almost $8 at W.al Mart??  Have they lost their rabbit-a minds? 
• Have you ever heard the phrase “no swap, no swindle?”  I heard it for the first time the other day, Smoochy swears it has been around for ever.  Maybe it’s a man thing??
• I’ve been planning a manicure ever since Therapeutic Musings posted her secret tools which extend the life of a paint job.  Of course, I can’t find them anywhere.  TM – where’d you get that stuff?
• I’m reading W.alter M.osley’s Blonde Faith.  Do you read him?  Have I mentioned how much I love the discount tables at B.orders and B.ooks-a-M.illion?

Okay, there was more, but wordpress shut down as soon as I hit “publish” and I’m too old to remember what I wrote just moments ago….

Have  a great weekend!  Be well.

Boo!

No silly, not “boo as in I’m trying to scare you because it’s Halloween.”  Boo as in two thumbs down.

Boo to my ex-boss sending me a friend request on FB.  Which ex-boss?  Yep, that one.  The crazy heifer from downstairs who since I left has been so damn nice I’m almost sorry I quit.  Almost.  Crazy thing about it?  I’m seriously thinking about friending her.  What’s really going on?

In honor of the holiday I don’t celebrate – much to Lovegirl’s chagrin – here’s some music to get your head nodding (NSFW – duh!):

Have a great – and safe – weekend!

 

Tri-fling

   (nooooo TM – I am NOT pg!)

So yesterday two work-friends and I hosted a lunch-time baby shower for another work-friend.  We decided to hold the shower at a Mexican restaurant not too far from campus – the e-vites were sent out last week.  I think we invited 14, 15 people.  We asked everyone to bring a gift and to chip in for the honoree’s lunch.

Yesterday at the shower we had 7  folks including the guest of honor.  4 people brought gifts – 2 people did not.  4 people chipped in on lunch – 2 did not.  Now, I am no M.artha Stewart, but damn.  That’s just rude.  One girl was like “oh, I don’t have any money to help with her lunch.”  Uh, you just sat here, shoveled chips and salsa down your gullet like there was no tomorrow, ordered and paid for your lunch and don’t have a measly dollar to put in on her lunch?  Really???  The other one didn’t know anybody at the table except for the girl who didn’t bring a gift or pay – she just came along because she wanted to go out to lunch.  WTH?  Who does this?  It’s not even the money – her lunch couldn’t have cost more than $8.  I just can’t believe someone would show up to a baby shower, not bring a gift, and claim to not have $1 for the meal.

Is it just me?

As an aside – I hope everyone has a great weekend!  I’m going to set up some healthy living-type posts for next week while I’m gone.

If any bloggers in LA,CA want to try to get together while I’m in Cali, just send me an email.  That was my passive-aggressive version of socializing….

Peace out!

I’ve Got a New Attitude

Not.  Though not as pissy as I was yesterday, I can tell that my snap-off potential is still pretty high.

Everybody (okay, 3 dudes at work) have been raving about this guy who does dreads and they told me I should give him a call so he can hook me up.  They give me his number.  I’m going to the Bluff next week, so I figure I’ll go get a wash and twist before I head out.  I’ve been doing my hair myself for well over a year, and if this guy is as wonderful as they say he is, I figure it wouldn’t hurt to pay him a visit every couple of months for a little routine maintainance.  So, I call him.

“Hello, may I speak to dreadlock dude?”

“This is he.”

“Hi.  I’m Nerd Girl.  I got your number from a few of the people I work with.  I understand you work wonders and would like to come in next Wednesday for a wash and retwist.”

“This is my private number.”

“Okaaaay.  Well, this is the number they gave me, I’m sorry.  Is there another number you’ d like me to call instead?”

“Well, no this is fine.  I’m sure they told you that you must come in for a consultation.”

“Nope, they didn’t.  Can I come in tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“What time?”

“Any time.  I’ll be there all day.”

***I’m beginning to remember why I CANNOTSTANDGOINGTOGETMYHAIRDONE!!! Your all day may not be the same as my all day!  Woo sah.***

“Okay, great.  Where are you located?”

“On such and such between the fish house and K.rystals.”

“Um.  Where is that?”

“Well, if you can find the street, you can find it.”

“Do you have an address?”

“I don’t know the address, but everybody knows where such and such road is.”

What I say:  “Okay, thank you.  I’ll ask someone for clearer directions and come by after work tomorrow.”

What I’m thinking:  The hell?  I am a potential customer – you know? Source of income-cash-money-dinero-cheddar!!  Why the hell is this dude giving me attitude for asking for an address?  I’m cool with an address AND landmarks, but not just no stankin’ landmarks.  I don’t live on that side o’town.  Am rarely over there.  Aint been to that fish house and I don’t eat at K.rystal.  (I don’t care if you do, I just don’t).  How about you just tell me where your dadgum business is so I can drive halfway around the world tomorrow for my consultation so I can come back next week and get my hair did?  How about that????

Yeah, still got a bit of ‘tude left.