Home » Uncategorized » Lions and Tigers and Bears – Oh My!

Lions and Tigers and Bears – Oh My!

This is not a post about the circus, circus animals, or even cotton candy. This is a post about the shady side of the circus. The part no one likes to talk about. The part where genetic abnormalities run rampant. The part where we indulge our shameful curiousities and pay to see those who are different from us, not as “normal.” You know, the 700 pound man, the bearded lady, the spider-lady, the world’s smallest midget . . . .

Well, today my dear readers, I would like to introduce a little known (until now) side-show act. Coming soon to a job interview near you: “The Woman With the World’s Biggest Hair!” That’s right – I, Nerd Girl am now a circus act in the making.

You know I’m still in the throes of my job search right? Right. So anyhoo, I’ve been wearing braids for over a year now. Really easy, only had to get them done once every 5 weeks or so, get up, pull scarf off, spray with a little oil sheen and voila – I was set for the day. Loved it! Well, I decided that I was sick of the braids, so I went to a girl that does natural hair, and she twisted it for me – with my intention being to let it lock up.

Until. I got a call from my dream job. They wanted to see me last Thursday. They called late Wednesday evening to set up the interview. I looked in the mirror and decided that I needed straight hair, and I needed it now! The twists, while neat and orderly, were probably not the look I needed to interview in in this very conservative environment. But heck, the interview was early the next day, and there was nothing I could do about it. I. Can’t. Do. My. Own. Hair. Okay, there, I’ve said it. So I ironed my interview suit, tied my hair down so at least it wouldn’t be all over my head, and prepared to interview. I got a call early the next morning – the physicians’ schedules had changed and they would have to reschedule the interview. The lady who called wasn’t sure when the interview would be. Sometime early this week perhaps.

Perfecto! I now had time to have someone take a flat-iron to my head and coax my naps and snaps into socially acceptable straightness. So Friday, I sat patiently while M worked her magic on my head. When she finished and gave the mirror, I gasped. My hair was beautiful! She cut some layers into it and it was curled and shaped to perfection. For a minute (okay, maybe two) I seriously considered getting a perm again. I was that fly. When I went to pick Lovegirl up from the sitter, her sitter D agreed that my hair was awesome. I’ve got a lot of hair. A lot. And when it is “done,” it really does look pretty good (I say that in all modesty). I was a little concerned about keeping the style up, but between the pointers and tips from M and D, I was pretty certain I’d be able to keep my do looking good for at least the next week or so.

Wrong. I woke up Saturday morning and had miraculously morphed into “The Woman With the World’s Biggest Hair!” It still looked good, but boy had that stuff expanded. I was some sort of science experiment gone very, very wrong. I thought perhaps I was overreacting, you know how we girls can be about our hair. Until I went in to get Lovegirl out of her crib. Her little eyes bugged out and she slowly reached toward me exclaiming “your hair Mama, your hair!” Alrightie then. But since when do I take fashion critiques from a two year old? So on I soldiered. By the end of the day let’s just say that several (lots!) of people had confirmed that I did indeed qualify to be a circus sideshow act. My husband, a dear friend, my sister-in-law, my father-in-law (he didn’t say anything, but I could see him staring at my head in amazement when he thought I wasn’t looking) and the public in general.

So, here it is Monday morning and I’m stuck with Big-A hair. This qualifies as Big-A hair even if I were a white woman in Dallas – and that’s saying a lot. And that dream job interview? Hasn’t been rescheduled yet!

Oh, but I did get a call for another interview, so I’m off to shower and get myself – and my hair – ready for that one. Send a prayer your girl’s way — I’ll let you know how it all worked out.

I would post a picture of aforementioned hair, but really, I think I’ll let you use your imaginations. See how much more fun that is??


5 thoughts on “Lions and Tigers and Bears – Oh My!

  1. LOL on the world’s biggest hair. The few times I’ve had my hair flatironed the only way I could keep it looking calm was to use coconut oil on the ends and roll it on those satin foam rollers at night. Good luck with the interview I’m sure you and your hair will be great!

  2. Yolanda – I’m working with this mass as best I can! I had the interview Tuesday, and I felt like it went pretty well, but I’m beginning to learn that you just never know! I have another interview on Thursday – so hopefully something will spring loose soon. I’ll keep y’all posted.

  3. Yeah, I’m not into using my imagination…pictures would be way better. Your description of this experience was cracking me up.

    BTW, in Dallas I’m sure you’d blend right in…they like big hair (and sparkly things).

  4. TKW — that picture is so not going to happen! My hair is getting bigger and bigger as the days pass, and that’s just something I’m not ready to share with the rest of the free world 🙂

    I have, however, noticed that the bigger your hair, the smaller your body looks. Stop the spinning classes, expand the hair . . . I think I’ve got a celebrity “diet” plan that could make me millions!

  5. i have to admit, i want to see a picture! good luck with your interview. i’ll be praying that something perfect comes through for you.

    be blessed!

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