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Friends . . . how many of us have them?

It is hard for me to make friends. I’m a naturally reserved person. Not shy per se, but reserved. I generally won’t approach someone I don’t know and start talking. If you start talking to me – watch out, it is on. But I rarely, if ever, make the first move. So basically, unless someone approaches me, I stand alone. Add to this the fact I’ve been told that I have a “do not approach me” air about myself. I don’t intentionally throw this vibe off, and it is something that I try to check myself on on the regular – so I’m not standing around glaring ya know, but it is a part of who I am.

So it goes to say that I’ve never been one of those girls that you find in a gaggle of other laughing, talking, having a great time women. I think I’m charming and witty and damn funny. And so do my friends – the few that I have. I’m just not a friend magnet I suppose.

Anyhoo, I’m really saddened that my “gym friend” M is moving. On to New Orleans she and her brood are headed. We started talking one day in spin class and have been cool since that day. Our daughters are a few months apart, and so we’d do occasional play dates, birthday parties, etc. Not a lifelong, bosom buddy, but a good pal nonetheless. And now she’s leaving. Which brings my grand friend total in MS down to 3. And one of those is considering moving too.

So ladies (and you too Brainhell if you’re still reading) please head over to the comments section and answer me this – who was the last friend you made and how did you meet her (or him)? I’m interested to know if this is strictly a Nerd Girl phenom or if everyone deals with this issue. Thanks in advance!


12 thoughts on “Friends . . . how many of us have them?

  1. awww nerd girl, sorry to hear about your friend. i could have pasted your first paragraph right into my blog because it describes me to a t. i’ve been told i’m “unapproachable.” so, i totally understand what you’re going through. to me, it seems, the older we get the harder it is to make friends. and that just seems kind of backwards.

    happy thanksgiving to you and yours!

  2. It is SO hard to make friends in adulthood. When one moves away (or in my case when I move away) it’s a total bummer. My best friend is still back in Austin and I’ve lived here two years now. Hard, I tell you!

    My newest friend is a neighbor and originally I was so excited b/c she seemed cool. Then after a few interactions I thought she was distant and not wanting a friend. I gave up. I was heart-broken…doesn’t that sound stupid? I kinda was. Anyway over time I have seen her at different social settings and figured out she is just that way (maybe unapproachable is the right word), it’s her personality. But I call her to come over and play (well…her kids with mine) and we’ve done some other things socially but it’s certainly a “nurse it along” relationship instead of an instant click.

    I feel for you Nerd Girl. I wish you the best. I’ve also found tht small group settings (story time at the library, or in your case the gym, etc.) make for a good way to interact in a safe environment before making that leap to, “Hey, you wanna get coffee?” or “How about getting our kids together?”

  3. Melyssa — so glad to know that it is not just me. It is so odd that we see ourselves one way, but are perceived in a totally different way by others. If you’re ever in the area, let’s meet and be “unapproachable” together 🙂

    TKW — I actually switched to a way-too-expensive-for-our-budget phone plan just so that I have unlimited long distance and can talk to my best friend whenever I want to. She’s in Arkansas. And I’ve been here for almost 8 years!

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