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Good job Lovegirl!

I am always telling Lovegirl what a great job she’s done – putting on her shoes, wiping the table, finishing her meal, etc.

A while back, I read an article that said the the children we’re currently raising – and those a decade before them – will be so used to being praised for everything, that they will encounter real heartache/heartbreak when they finally venture into the real world.  That we parents, by currently praising them in an almost nonstop manner, are setting them up for unrealistic expectations when it comes to real kudos.

On the one hand, I want to be Lovegirl’s biggest encourager, her biggest fan (when she’s doing right, of course) but I also thought that there was a grain of truth in the article – she won’t be able to step outside and take a breath without expecting someone to say “great job!” Even now, if she does something and I say “okay,” instead of offering praise as usual, she will tell me “Mama, you need to say good job Lovegirl!”

I can’t remember where I read the article, otherwise I’d post a link to it.  If anyone’s interested in weighing in on this, I’d love to hear your opinion.  Praise – when it comes to children is there ever such a thing as “too much?”

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2 thoughts on “Good job Lovegirl!

  1. I do think we are way more encouraging and supportive than our parents. However many of us are not better equipped for the world because our parents weren’t fuzzy. Some of us were crushed by the lack of praise and have no self esteem because of it. My son asks “Am I handsome?” when he puts on his tie and “do you like my singing” when he belts out Alicia Keys. And we say yes!

  2. hey nerd girl…
    i agree with keith. i don’t believe that article to be true. just as keith said my parents weren’t praised as children so they didn’t realize many of the talents and abilities they were blessed with that could put them so far ahead now. however, they noticed a lot of the negative things that were habitually said to them and can run them off to you at any family gathering.

    with my babyyum, i always say good job. you are so strong, smart, etc. even to the point when he was just turning 2 and not yet potty trained, i would change his diaper and he would say “good job mommy”… i would be so angry because they would be pooo diapers. anyhow, out in the world they will be faced with criticism, praise and sometimes nothing at all. don’t worry about praising lovejoy too much. there will be times that she might expect praise (as she told you before) and you may not realize it. at times what’s important to her may not be where your heart and mind are at the time. i’m sure we’ll have these convos with our children too at some point in their lives… but for now we are doing a great job “great job nerd girl” on instilling confidence and self esteem in the home!

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