So, this weekend, several work girlfriends and I headed to a local bar/club to hear a band that our male coworker plays for. (sorry English majors!) They’re a really good cover band, and I had a great time! I don’t go out often at all, but am glad that we finally took him up on the invites to hear them play.
Random thoughts that ran through my mind that evening:
Hmmm, I believe that girl is flashing her breasts at the crowd. Indeed she is. She shouldn’t be.
I’m glad I’m not single.
How strange is it that the girl in the A.didas pants has hunched almost every man in here – and that her mother is here with her?
Why does this mother/daughter duo keep trying to pull me on the dance floor?
Did that random stranger just try to run his fingers through my hair?
Who knew “Paralyzer” would sound this good covered?
Some people should not dance like no one is watching.
Did this lady really just ask me how to twirl?
I should leave before the drunks hit the road.
I think I smell like a M.arlboro Red.
Hee-hee, I got a shout out from the band.
I do not “got a big ole butt, oh yeah.”
Thank God I’m the mom – I definitely won’t make it to church tomorrow.
I just tried to “get low,” I’m outta here.
- Will be thankful for this day;
- Will reply “great” when asked how I’m doing;
- Will begin to speak more positive things aloud;
- Will not write a rant about how stupid it is that F.ord has the following disclaimer in their commercials featuring a “talking” car: “The part of the car was played by an actor.” Okay, so I kind of snuck that one in. Anyhoo . . .
- Will look at my daughter and be thankful for the blessing that she is in my life;
- Will call my 87 year old grandmother and tell her how much I love her;
- Will text each of my brothers and tell them how much I love them;
- Will drink 8 servings of water before I leave work – even if it means my staying late, and that’s not happening;
- Will buy a piece of clothing that is neither black nor tan;
- Will find one new recipe to try next week – baked chicken is getting old.
Okay, I think that gives me enough to commit to for one day. I hope you and yours have a lovely weekend!
I love T.arget. You know, the giant, mass merchandise retail store. The one whose siren song calls to me and that I must answer nearly every Sunday afternoon. Yeah, that one.
Anyhoo, I was browsing around in there recently and discovered my newest love: exercise pants with an option on lengths! That’s right, I can now buy Champion exercise pants in tall. Are you feeling my excitement yet?
I don’t wear shorts, can’t stand capris and have been relegated to wearing exercise pants that were always just a schooch too short, forcing me to look like some awkward middle schooler being taunted about being ready for the next big flood. No longer. I am finally getting fit and fine in exercise pants that fit properly – from my six pack abs to the tops of my toned tootsies. Or something like that. Thank you T.arget. Thank you!
If you let your three year old daughter choose her own shoes on the Monday after Easter, there is a very real possibility that she will spend the day wearing a pink/white striped t shirt, blue jeans, and very white “Easter shoes.”
I plan on capturing this on film and posting a pic this evening!
Am I the only person who hasn’t had an affair???
The new Governor of New York and his wife admit to past extra-marital relationships during a rough patch in their marriage.
When Smoochy and I have a fight, I go to the movies or to the gym. Alone. Is it just me?
Okay, I know that we should obey the laws of the land, but, this honors student was suspended, stripped of his student council post and barred from a honors dinner. Because he bought a bag of S.kittles from a classmate. You read right – a bag of S.kittles. And no, that’s not code for the newest illicit drug, I’m talking about the fruity rainbow candies!
This is the kind of stupidity that I am in no way prepared to deal with when Lovegirl reaches school age. These types of decisions make me think that she will definitely attend private school. I used to get incensed when Smoochy would tell me about students being suspended for defending themselves in a school fight. I’m all for peaceful campuses, but it boggles my mind that one student could walk over to another, slap ’em around for however long they please, and if the student being attacked fights back, they are both suspended. What kind of nonsense is that?????
Back to the candy – I wouldn’t have been able to hold myself together if Lovegirl came home and told me she’d been suspended/banned/stripped because she bought a bag of candy. There’s no way. No way.
. . . you were my passport, where would you be hiding?