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So, What Did You Do This Weekend?

As you may know, last Monday was Lovegirl’s 4th birthday.  We officially celebrated on Saturday with a small party at the other House of Mouse – Chuck E. Cheese’s.  I think – and hope – that a good time was had by all.  I know that Lovegirl had a great time – she’s quite the party girl you know.

You may not know – and how would you – that on Saturday morning I did something I never thought I’d do again.  I took someone to the clinic to have an abortion performed.  I did it twice in college (took someone, not had one) and just thought those days were behind me.  After all, we’re grown women.  Married, in committed relationships, etc., etc., etc . . . .

My feelings about abortion are conflicted.  I don’t think that I could ever have one.  I say think because I’ve never been in a situation where I had to even remotely contemplate what I would do with a pregnancy.  I think abortion is wrong.  However, I understand why lots of women choose to have them and I don’t condemn their choice.  As far as I’m concerned that is between them, their consciences and God.  I do not believe that Roe v. Wade should be overturned. 

The person I took had already made up their mind to have the procedure and she needed a ride.  The father was against the procedure, didn’t want her to have it, she didn’t want to deal with the emotions of him going with her.  She didn’t want her business all out in the streets, so I’m the only other person she told.  She asked for a ride and I told her I’d give her one.

So, OG (ole girl) made it to my house around 6:15 Saturday morning and off to the clinic we headed.  Did I mention that I had my child in the car?  Smoochy hadn’t made it home, so I just told Lovegirl that we were taking OG to the doctor and left it at that.  Which would’ve been fine, had there not been protesters outside the clinic.  How I managed to forget about them, I don’t know, but I did.  I’ve got to say, as far as protesters go, they were a pretty mild bunch – as middle and upper class protesters are wont to be.  They yelled and chanted at me as I went in to sign that I’d be back to pick OG up.  They yelled and chanted at OG and Lovegirl as they waited in the car, and they yelled and chanted at OG as she walked inside.  Alone.  To have an abortion. 

Lovegirl and I headed to the house to clean up, chill out, and play before her 2:30 party.  OG was to call me to pick her up when she was done.  Phone rang around 11, and back to the clinic we headed.  About halfway there Lovegirl says “Mama, I don’t think those people were happy with OG.  They asked her if she would kill me if I was two.”  Well hot damn.  I knew my kid was observant and listens to everything, but somehow I’d fooled myself into thinking that she would not hear/pay attention to anything that early in the morning.  I was wrong and felt like crap on a stick – those are not the types of thoughts I want floating around in her head at the ripe old age of 4.  I told her that she probably didn’t hear them right and I didn’t think they were mad at OG at all.  I think (hope) she bought it.  And then I called my sister-in-law to see if she’d keep Lovegirl for a hot second.  She agreed.  I called OG to see if the protesters were still there.  They weren’t.  I called sis-in-law and told her never mind, but thanks. 

Picked OG up, headed back to the house.  What made either one of us think she’d be able to drive home that soon I don’t know.  I called Smoochy – who still hadn’t made it home – and told him that OG would be in the guest room sleep.  I insisted that OG lay down.  She was still sleep when we left for Lovegirl’s party.  She woke up and left shortly thereafter.  Sent me a text message to let me know she’d made it home safely.

I was mentally spent.  But, still had a birthday to celebrate.  So on we partied.  Celebrating one life while another would never be realized.

If you have something to say about abortion – pro or con, any experiences you may have had, what you think will happen when the new regime occupies the White House,  etc., etc., – please feel free to leave a comment, anon if you like.  If you’re going to be ignit, don’t bother.  I don’t think any of my readers are, but just in case a newbie makes his/her way here . . . consider yourself forewarned.


11 thoughts on “So, What Did You Do This Weekend?

  1. I cannot stand abortion clinic protesters. I’ve never had to deal with this personally, but have just seen them on TV and in the movies and it makes me sick to my stomach. If you’re against it as a moral issue, why don’t you protest outside of Walgreens, CVS and Rite Aid, where condoms are sold? Why don’t you protest in front of the Trojan, Durex or other condom manufacturer’s warehouses?

    Why in HEAVEN’S name would you prey on someone who’s already dealing with so much? Those people have no idea what those mothers are going through. What some of those unborn children could be facing if their mothers didn’t get an abortion (poverty, absent fathers, death and disease, etc).

    You could read the bible cover to cover and I guarantee you Jesus was not in the business of humiliating, demeaning and or putting anyone’s sins on blast. GUAR-AN-TEE IT!

    I do believe he said “let those without sin cast the first stone”… If Jesus, in his perfection, isn’t going to ridicule someone for doing “wrong” then what gives you the right?

    Yeah, they’ve got me heated this morning Nerd Girl.

  2. T – That’s pretty much the way I see it as well. You cannot convince me that as a Christian you are supposed to be yelling and screaming at someone who is already in a really bad spot. What happened to the compassion? Is screaming and sneering really the way you want to be Jesus’ representative?!? Okay, I may be a little a warm too . . .

  3. I agree. If those protestors really want to help then they should volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center. Then they can counsel women who are trying to decide whether or not to have an abortion. They can then explain to them why they should keep the child, standing outside screaming at folks does not show the love of Christ at all.

  4. I believe we have a right to choose. It is my job to decide what is right for me, and my family. What if it were the opposite and they decided that everyone had to have abortions (far-fetched? look at China’s one child policy)? If we must bring religion into it, what about God gifting us with the responsibility of free-will? Whew, must have my own soap-box. Thanks Nerd Girl!

  5. ITA w/ T. How folks can do this in God’s name is beyond me. And then to talk about your child on top of it all? Disgusting. You did a great thing BTW, helping a friend in need.

  6. I am pro-choice. I had an unplanned pregnancy. I chose to go ahead with it and have the baby.

    This does not mean that I condemn anyone else’s choice to have an abortion. I am happily married, with a solid career and a pretty solid middle-class life. I already have a 5-year-old. She is the dearest thing to me on earth. Parenting is also the hardest thing I have ever done, and my husband is the most grounded, wonderful father I could imagine. Nonetheless, we argued about whether we should keep this second child. It was not in the plan! But I couldn’t bring myself to terminate, so here we are – six weeks away from having this unplanned baby.

    Becoming a parent has, if anything, made me more pro-choice. It is such a huge decision and commitment to bring another person into the world – it’s not anything anyone should do lightly, without a lot of thought. And it’s not anything anyone should be able to decide for you.

    Good for you for supporting your friend. Sorry those crazy people scared your baby.

  7. God bless you Nerd Girl. You absolutely did the right thing supporting your friend. I, too, am very frightened by the right wanting to challenge Roe v. Wade. They’re all up in arms about being pro-life, but have no agenda to address and support our country’s children— No agenda on healthcare, no agenda on education— nada!

  8. TM – So true. People really need to watch how they portray themselves as representatives of certain groups!

    Amy – Free will – to do what is legal – is what makes this country so great. I hope that a woman’s choice is always hers to make in this country.

    E&P – If I’d known they’d said that in my kiddos earshot I’d have gone nuts. I am so grateful that I didn’t find out until after the fact. (Your blog is great, btw!)

    Lisa – How true – parenting is not a decision to be entered into lightly by anyone, no matter their circumstance. I can’t believe baby will be here soon – I can’t wait to read about her arrival 🙂

    Mango Mama – When I took my friend in college I asked one of the protesters for her name, number, and address. She was like “what?” I said “surely you are willing to take this little baby home once he or she is born and care for it for the rest of your life. Otherwise, what are YOU doing out here?” It really chaps my hide that the protestors I’ve encountered don’t offer any real answers as to what the woman is supposed to do to ensure a good quality of life for herself and her child if she does opt to continue on with her pregnancy.

  9. Wow, how timely is this post for me? Well, someone very close to me just had an abortion and I had VERY mixed feelings about it. I have never been in a situation where the thought of an abortion would come into play so I really can’t judge. I will say that it was a bit unsettling. I guess it bothered me because I don’t have children and can’t wait to become a mother. However, I do not agree with people yelling and protesting at a person at a clinic. Every woman should have that right to choose.

  10. I think that when a woman decides to do it, she has thought about it long and hard and decided this was the best thing to do. It’s not someone else’s decision to make. Those protestors were wrong in bringing your child into it.

  11. I personally don’t believe in abortion but no one really cares cause I’m a dude but no one accounts for the hurt when you lose a baby. When she just don’t want it or it’s a dangerous pregnancy to the Mom or the baby and if you ain’t lived through any of that then you can’t make a blanket statement for it. I have known too many girls who got one and saw the wreakage, have gone to the clinic, with the Jesus man standing there handing out photos of fetuses, the girls and their men sitting there scared, ashamed, vexed! I don’t recommend any of it.

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