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Work It Out

There are a few characters at the gym that amuse me.  Greatly.  I know I’m wrong for laughing at these people (in my head – mostly) but I can’t help it.

Eye of the Tiger – This dude is hilarious!  He’s kinda short and extremely muscled up.  He also has tiger stripes tattooed on his entire left arm, two tattoos on his upper back – one’s a tiger, I don’t know what the other one is – and what I assume is a tiger on his calf.  And he always – always – wears those loose racer back tshirts when he works out.  So every time he’s there, we are all treated to a full display of his tats.   I’m not anti-tattoo by any means, but if this man doesn’t watch out, he’s going to turn into a feral cat.  I noticed he doesn’t wear a wedding band and cannot imagine the woman who will ever think that looking at that display every day for life is a treat!

Beef Jerky – This chick is very.  Very tan.  Very orange.   And very, very blond.  White blond.   And in very good shape.  As we are all made privy to by her choice of workout clothes.  I believe she wears one of Lovegirl’s tank tops and a pair of old school (white trimmed, scoop bottomed) gym shorts every day.  I call her beef jerky because she just looks hard and leathery.  I’m all for muscle tone, but she needs to soften up a bit to get some of her femininity back.  And stay out of the tanning beds – forever.

Mary Kay – Full face of makeup at the beginning – and end – of every workout I’ve ever seen her do.  Not to mention the perfume cloud that follows her from the weight station, through her cardio workout and back into the locker room.

I wonder if anybody has come up with a nickname/description for me at the gym?  Probably something along the lines of:

Angry Dreadlocked Chick – always wears a bandana to control her flopping hair, scowls at the weights frequently, mumbles incessantly under her breath,  and “raps” a lot of Ice Cube and QTip while on the cross trainer.  Has an endless supply of vacation tshirts to work out in.

Do you have any characters at your gym/workout spot that you always notice and who amuse you?  What would people who observe you exercising say about or nickname you?


7 thoughts on “Work It Out

  1. I like the Solid Gold Dancers. The ladies that show up in the skimpiest, tightest outfits, do one minute on the treadmill and then move on to flirt with the guys lifting weights.

  2. I don’t belong to a gym but I do walk a lot (and workout at home even though I have been slackin heavily on that front). The folks that see me probably refer to me as She Who Walks with 3 dogs. lol

  3. @ 1969 – My Beef Jerky lady definitely qualifies as a SGD too! I’ve never actually seen her work out – she talks a lot, flirts a lot, but that’s all I’ve ever seen her do. I don’t know when she actually works on her body.

    @ AR Gal – Three dogs? You’re probably getting a better workout than all of us!

  4. OMG! These are so funny, especially eye of the tiger and solid gold dancers. I frequent the gym. Allow me to add:

    Personal Trainer Stalker: This dude NEVER has anyone to personal train. He is always eyeing you up and down and then doing funny little exercises trying to get you to ask him what he’s doing so he can suggest her personally train you.

    Rolled out of bed chick: (This is me) She doesn’t care what you think about the fact that she still has last night’s mascara on. She wears a plethora of t-shirts repping her high school and college alma maters with oddly non-matching jogging pants and more often than not she forgets to wear a spors bra. She’s an ugly catepillar at the gym so she can emerge a beautiful butterfly in real life.

  5. lol. not “This chick is very.” LOLOL! HILARITY!! i know that woman from my gym in pittsburgh! i hate the grunters! leave that weight alone if it’s that heavy for you! they probably call me the giggly stuck up chick b/c i listen to things that are hyper/make me laugh/remind me of college or friends but if you try to talk to me, you’re getting short answers. lol. the gym is a lot less amusing on a college campus.

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