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Work, Sweet Work

6:40 a.m. – Lovegirl and I hit the door and head to school/work

7:00 a.m. – Drop Lovegirl off at the world’s best little Christian school.

7:01 a.m. – Hop back in the car.  Which won’t start.  Sit in car and look stupid for a few.

7:07 a.m. – Call Smoochy.  He says “I sure hope you don’t need a new starter.  Those cost.”  Sigh.  Get off the phone with Smoochy.

7:25 a.m. – Walk across the street to the service station to see if someone’s there who can give me a boost.  Nope, the service dudes don’t get in until 8.  But I can sit and wait.  Nope.  I’ll sit and wait in my car – at least my radio is still working.  If I sit here and listen to Merle Haggard for 35 minutes, I’ll go nuts.

8:00 a.m. – Walk back over to service station.  Convince dude to come boost my battery.  Which he does.  I then ask if he can test the battery.  Sure he can.  He then tells me I definitely need a new battery.  Which will be $98.  Um, no.  So he charges me $20 for the boost service call.  Whatever.

8:03 a.m. – Smoochy calls and tells me to take it A.utoZone.  In the hood.  No.  So I take it to A.utoZone.  In the ‘burbs.  They tell me it is the alternator.  I think about having Chick-Fil-A minis for breakfast.  Might as well eat good, I’m already late.

8:35 a.m. – I pull into Chick-Fil-A and decide the drive-through line is too long.  So I park.  And turn off the car.  Doh!  Thank God, it starts.  So I turn it back off and go inside to get my tasty minis and an orange juice.  Priorities.

8:50 a.m. – I call Smoochy back and ask him what to do.  He says take the car to W.alMart and get the battery tested.  So, I do.  They say I definitely need a battery.  Are you keeping up?  That’s 2 for new battery, 1 for alternator. 

8:57 a.m. – I leave W.alMart, driving east.  Not sure where to go or what to do.  Smoochy calls back.  Asks me when we last bought a battery for my ride.  Never.  Never?  Never.  6 years, same battery.  Then he tells me to go back to W.alMart and buy a battery.  NO WAY.  I’m too far away.  So he tells me to go to the A.utoZone.  In the hood.  Again.  So I do.

9:30 a.m. – Tell the dude at A.utoZone I need a battery.  How do I know, he asks.   Tell him the story.  Dude decides to test my battery.  Tells me I don’t need one.  Tests the alternator.  Tells me it is good.  I spaz a little.  He notes the reading from the alternator –  flux capacitor jiggawatts or something – and says we’ll go inside and see how many flux capacitor jiggawatts my alternator is supposed to be putting out.  Okay fine.  I get out the car.  My keys do not.  Seriously????  Now I’m locked out.  Dude asks me if I have a hanger.  I know he’s trying to help, but h*ll no!  I do not conveniently have a hanger.  I call Smoochy and then roadside assistance.  Roadside assistance tells me someone will be there in about 30 minutes.  Smoochy calls back and tells me Little Ro-Ro will be there in about 10. 

9:40 – Little Ro-Ro wins hustler of the year as he pulls up.  I call Smoochy and tell him LRR has arrived.  Smoochy tells me to pass LRR the phone.  I do.  Smoochy says to pay LRR $30.  Uhhh, LRR is going to have to wait until I go to the ATM.  Smoochy asks where the $50 is he gave me the other day.  Duh.  I put it in the bank.  Smoochy sighs and tells me I need to keep a little emergency cash on me.  I tell him I do have a little emergency cash.  $8.  LRR finishes breaking into unlocking my car and tells me to just have Smoochy pay him whenever. 

10:00 a.m. – I call roadside assistance and cancel the call.  Smoochy calls me back and tells me he bets I just need a new belt or some such.  I tell him that I no longer give a damn.

10:30 a.m. – I sit down in my chair at work, never having been happier to be at my job!  I sure hope my car starts this evening….


15 thoughts on “Work, Sweet Work

  1. 7:10 Got arrested outside of Christian School for going crazy yelling into my cell phone. The police drove me to the police station and they towed my car to the impound lot. It stayed at the impound lot until somebody with more resilience could come deal with it. I got bailed out and went home to watch t.v.

  2. I don’t know what kind of vehicle you have, but I would have probably changed the battery. Batteries do not last forever. If it was indeed the alternator then the tests should have been more conclusive on it. Something is draining your battery. Either you have a dead cell in your battery or your alternator is taking turns when it wants to work. I know auto business is very frustrating. I am going through some car issues myself. Since I have alternate transportation, I am not going the high road and just spend a lot of money. I hope you had a good rest of the day!

    • Oh wise one! It was indeed the battery. I should’ve just called you and saved myself much frustration! I have a Durango and apparently not only had I not changed the battery in 6 years, I was also riding around on the wrong size battery! Ah well…..

  3. ROFL! at LRR – at AutoZ in the hood – At your $8 emergency cash – What’s wrong with the car?? Did you say…I can’t see thru the water that’s in my eyes…lol

  4. Kelly – turns out it was the battery. I spent 3 hours running around growing more frustrated at each turn when all I had to do was buy a battery! Girl, don’t sleep on LRR – he was not playing!!!

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