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Conflict of Interest?

So, I’ve been thinking that since I’m almost done with school (hallelujah!!!) I need to become involved with a ministry at church.  I would like to work with the young ladies at church.  There’s a group called “Girl Talk” which deals with young ladies and the issues they face on the daily.  I think this would be an awesome group with which to be involved.


I don’t think I could only teach and advocate for abstinence.  Yes, I know it is church work.  Yes, I know the Bible says we should wait for marriage and there are consequences – very real consequences – for not doing so.  But.  The reality of it is that teens have s.ex.  And if they’re going to have s.ex I think they should be well informed – about s.ex, the consequences, STDs, pregnancy, emotions, and birth control options.  I don’t think this is giving “permission” to have s.ex – just making them aware of things should they choose not to wait.  I’d rather they be well informed and have “safer s.ex” than to not know a thing and end up with who-knows-what, pregnant, or both.

Thoughts?  Should Christian youths be taught s.ex ed in church or abstinence only?  Should I find another ministry?


9 thoughts on “Conflict of Interest?

  1. I think in the church, abstinence only. I know you want them to be informed but would you be okay teaching them messages outside the Bible? When I was a teenager, I not only wanted honesty, but I wanted to know EXACTLY what the Bible says about sex and what it means for me.

    I wanted that biblical instruction that you can’t get anywhere else and is difficult enough to get in church b/c I can’t really say I ever really got it. It was basically “Don’t.” That’s not enough for intelligent children taught in every other arena to question things and think through them critically. Maybe you could work in, “Is this realistic, why or why not?” and help them understand why the Bible says these things and how to make it easier in a world where it’s impossible to avoid sexual messages, images and pressure.

    Oddly, in schools I have no problem with safe sex messages.

  2. Hmmmmm I was about to go with you NerdGirl but Jameil got me to thinking. I think there is a grey area between Abstinence and Safe Sex and maybe teaching the students about the various “messages, images, and pressure” and how to handle them from a Christian perspective is totally doable.

    I personally would be more interested in learning why I am not supposed to do it instead of just don’t.

  3. In church we learned about everything. They told us that we should be abstinent but they also showed us what happens when you have unprotected sex. They showed us STD’s and videos of abortions and what the consequences of sex were. We knew what condoms were and that if we wanted to disobey, we should at least use a condom (although I can’t remember if this was explicitly said or if we used common sense). Teach abstinence, but answer them honestly when they ask about condoms and such.

  4. Greeting Nerdgirl..Interesting topic! This is my first visit and I want to comment. I think you should find another ministry that won’t conflict.

    I think you can teach about God’s way and man’s way in the s.ex ed text. God’s way- abstinence until marriage- offers protection emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. Then tell them that man’s way is also a choice and that choice takes you out of God’s perfect Will and out from under God’s covering.

    But unless you are bringing out the condom and teaching proper technique then safer sex lessons should be avoided.

  5. Probably depends on the church. I was shocked a few Sundays ago when our pastor mentioned the number of HIV infected teens, etc. and basically said that we as a church needed to really deal with this- not hide and pretend it doesn’t exist.

  6. This is what my former youth leader did for us : she said she ideally would like for us to wait until marriage , but if we couldnt we could always come to her for condoms or what ever. Clearly just having the abstinence talk isnt working- if it was then the teenage pregancy rate wouldnt be so high and we wouldnt have a need for shows like 16 and pregnant.

  7. Hi again. 🙂 I agree with many of the points raised above, so I won’t repeat. Perhaps you can check out some literature aimed at teaching purity that really has a scriptural basis, but doesn’t ignore present-day situations. One such book is called Ev.ery Y.ou.ng Wo.man’s Ba.ttl.e. I haven’t read it yet, but a couple of friends who are starting a purity ministry at their church have read it and the version for adult women as well, and they highly recommend it.

    I think the combination of biblical and “secular” teaching can be very powerful; they don’t have to be exclusive. Further, the goal is to inform these young ladies and arm them with knowledge. I really wish I’d known the scriptural basis for abstaining and it MAY have kept me from having to start all over. At any rate, just know that whatever ministry you choose, your work will not be in vain. Whether you see an impact or not, just believe that God is truly working through you. 🙂 Great post!

  8. Sex ed in church… ooh chile, I don’t know. On the one hand I love progressive churches. My cousin’s church has an AIDS ministry and openly gay people are on the board. It’s a Catholic church and they don’t promote homosexuality, but they also don’t promote hating people that are different from you. It’s a foreign concept.

    On the other hand, I can’t imagine my Sunday School teaching talking to me about condoms and me having sex and telling my mom something like it’s safe, I talk to Sister Jenkins about it at church…

    I’m sorry, I’m no help whatsoever, but I don’t know what I’d do.

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