Last week I had lunch with a friend – we had a ball. This friend of mine is raising her stepdaughter and over the course of lunch, she confided that she thinks her stepdaughter is gay.
My friend is so worried about this may-be-gay stepdaughter – because she’s embarrassed by what her friends and family will think about her. Huh? She went on to say that she couldn’t believe it, she was ashamed, she didn’t condone that type of lifestyle, she didn’t want anything to do with her, she couldn’t believe that the girl didn’t like getting her hair done or wearing dresses, etc., etc…
Of course she asked me what I thought, how I’d feel, yada yada yada.
I basically told her that I couldn’t see myself ever chunking Lovegirl the deuces because she was gay. Do I “agree” with homosexuality? Nope, it goes against what I believe. Do I want Lovegirl to be gay? No, I don’t. But that little girl is the best thing I’ve ever done and I honestly don’t believe that I’d turn my back on her or tell her stuff like she’s disgraced the family if she were gay. I certainly wouldn’t be worried about what anyone else thought.
When we were younger my mother used to tell us not to do anything to disgrace the family name. She never really told us what exactly we could do that would disgrace the family, but I figured that meant for me not to get pregnant…
I’ve been trying to think of circumstances under which I’d be disgraced/ashamed/embarassed by something Lovegirl did. I’ve come to the conclusion that short of some sort of heinous crime, there really isn’t anything. Maybe I’m just being naive ’cause my kid is seven and we haven’t had to deal with any real “issues,” I don’t know. Of course I have high expectations for Lovegirl and there are things I hope she never takes part in, but to just tell her “holla” because she does something I don’t agree with? I just can’t see it. Disappointed, yes, but all that other, not so much.
What do you think? Am I being naive because my child is only six and we haven’t had any real issues yet? Is there something that your child could do/be that would make you walk away from them?? (Not that my friend has walked away, I’m just asking…)
*Today’s weight? 170. Down 1.4 pounds. Yay!