…if you notice that your not-quite-seven-year-old has breast bud
- Yank up her shirt and palpate her chest;
- Stare at her all weekend with watery eyes;
- Tell your husband that he’s “got to do something about this NOW!”
- Spend hours on the internet googling “precocious puberty.”
- Pray to God that your grandmother’s large-bosomedness skips yet another generation.
- Throw everything in the house containing soy away while cursing all forms of estrogen.
- Scour your old photo albums trying to figure out when you started to develop.
- Force Pserendipity to stare at your child’s chest in a church parking lot until she says she sees something.