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When I first started blogging – back when I was pregnant with Lovegirl – I was pretty open with details of my life.  Where I was from, our real names, etc., etc.  Back then I’m not even sure it was called blogging – I think I kept an “online diary.”

Fast forward a couple of years to when I started blogging over at blogspot.  I wanted to be kind of anonymous.  I’m not hiding anything from anybody, but I wasn’t real sure that I wanted my name/face/identifying details out there for the world to see.  All those warning about online stalkers/predators/crazies and the like….Well, I started posting pictures and then along come FB and the Twitter and now I’m pretty sure I’m not as anonymous as I once was.

Several folks from the blog found me on FB, I’ve emailed back and forth with readers, and several of y’all I know in real life.  Which means clearly, some of you know my name.  I think I’ve done a better job of keeping Lovegirl’s name under wraps but I know I’ve mentioned Smoochy’s  name on FB more than once.

Anyhoo, what I want to know is:

Do you know my name?  Do you know Smoochy’s name?  Do you know Lovegirl’s name? (A simple yes or no will do – no need to prove your knowledge.)   If so, how’d you find out?  Do you blog/FB/Tweet?  Are you anonymous or are you an open book?  How’d you make the decision to “go public” if you did?  Do you regret it?



40 thoughts on “Incognegro

  1. I know your name. I don’t know Smoochy’s name. I’ve seen Lovegirl’s name once. I found out you and Lovegirl’s name when we were talking about our kids at school once in the comments. I used to blog, I FB and tweet. When I blogged I was an open book. I LOVED my lil corner of the blogosphere. Eventually a psycho found out my name, the kids names, etc and started harassing myself and some of my readers. That was the end of me being an open book and eventually I gave up on blogging.

  2. I don’t know your real name or anyone else’s in your family. I only share my first name on my blog and I never blog about my work or let anyone know where I work. Just in case. Even though it’s very tempting. My blog is not searchable by search engines. I include pictures and I love reading blogs of people who also share pictures and some information about their lives. I guess I’m just nosy like that. Ha!

  3. I am guilty of finding you on FB through a mutual blogging friend (hope that didn’t bother you). If you know me on FB then you know all about me because FB is more personal to me. Because of that I have only exposed myself on FB to a handful of bloggers. My Twitter is bloggers only so I tweet like I blog. No ultra personal details and no real names. I know some bloggers real names, even some who dont know I know their names. I have seen some bloggers slip up and make it easy for me to find out their name. I try not to expose any identifying information about myself but it’s hard sometimes because I am an oversharer and I like talking about what’s going on in my life. I try to keep my blog as personal as possible so only 3 people I know in real life actually read it. The others dont even know I have a blog.

  4. I know your name cause we are FB friends. I know Smoochy’s name. I don’t know LoveGirl’s name unless you have mentioned it on FB and I missed it,

    I blog, FB, and tweet and my blog is public but I refuse to publish my blog posts to my FB feed. I want to keep the 2 separate because I have a lot of family and voyeurs and that I am friends with on FB.

  5. I know your name. I know I’ve read Smoochy’s and Lovegirl’s names on FB, but I don’t remember them. I blog/FB/ and tweet. I’m not anonymous, but I’m not an open book either. I normally don’t use my or hubby’s name but I use the baby’s name. I might as well use our real names because they are so common, but MrC probably wouldn’t approve. Oh, I just remembered Smoochy’s name.

  6. I know your name from FB. Have never seen Smoochy’s or Lovegirl’s names but I’ve been slipping on FB lately! I am not anonymous. I think I started out trying to be that way but decided it didn’t matter that much. I don’t use my husband’s name but I have mentioned my son’s name before even though I don’t generally call him by his gov’t name. I gradually decided to go more public from several opportunities that caused exposure (a guest post, an article, an interview) – folks tend to want your “real” name when you do that! I hope I never have to regret it.

  7. Yes

    I found out your name on Facebook through a comment on a message from a mutual friend. I FB, Tweet, and have a dusty tumblr account. I am an open book in real life but I like to share with discretion online so I don’t see a need to be private. I don’t regret it.

  8. I don’t know any of your names.

    I think because I don’t blog, I’m conscious of the exchange of information. I read blogs as entertainment but since I don’t have an online presence per se, I’m pretty anonymous so I don’t seek out any information on anyone.

    I have a FB that’s pretty open but I pretty much only have offline friends and family there. And I have a twitter but I mostly use it to follow food trucks. I don’t tweet.

    Basically, I am not using the full potential of the internet. 🙂

  9. You already know I know all of your names since we’ve met several times. Sometimes I want to become less public and even make my blog private b/c I don’t want anything I’ve written 5 years ago that I don’t even believe anymore to come back and haunt me but I also don’t really want to delete it. I kind of like having my evolution visible. There is overlap everywhere for me– blog, fb, twitter. I actually really hate having people I know on twitter. I have denied multiple people. You don’t need to know everything about me. You get fb. If I could break my fb addiction, I would be overjoyed. I’m ready to be done with it. This is getting out of hand… lol. Basically I don’t regret my decision to go public. I don’t even like to read blogs of people who aren’t public for very long. I’m open, you should be, too to some extent. You’re not that famous. If you don’t share names, pictures are so necessary.

  10. We’re FB friends, so I know your name. I know Lovegirl’s name, but not Smoochy’s. If you’ve mentioned it on FB, I’ve missed it. Can’t remember when I learned Lovegirl’s name – maybe around the time of P’s wedding. At first, I was all anonymous. Then I starting becoming FB friends with bloggers who I had formed a connection with. Then I started pushing my blog to my FB page. I love that family and friends who didn’t know I blogged have started following me, but I definitely can’t comment about my in-law family anymore. *lol* I’ve only put one or two pics on the blog of myself and never any of my son. Something about sharing his pic there feels funny to me. I don’t tweet and I won’t let the peer pressure make me!! =)

  11. Do you know my name? No
    Do you know Smoochy’s name? No
    Do you know Lovegirl’s name? No(A simple yes or no will do – no need to prove your knowledge.) If so, how’d you find out?
    Do you blog/FB/Tweet? Blog and FB with 2 different identities
    Are you anonymous or are you an open book? I’m anonymous – still. Sometimes i want to share more, but i cant reconcile having so much of me out there. i’m going with my intuition on this one.
    How’d you make the decision to “go public” if you did? Do you regret it?

  12. I know your name, but honestly don’t know how to pronounce it. Ha!
    I do not know smoochy or lovegirl’s names. I don’t even know if I know what smoochy looks like. Is he real?
    Although I use a pseudonym, I am sure 75% of bloggers know my real name.
    I’m anonymous but not really because I am FB friends with a ton of bloggers, so other bloggers end up sending me friend requests.
    I FB, twitter and blog, but people IRL typically don’t know about twitter or the blog. Or they do and just don’t tell me they lurk.

  13. Nope.
    But judging from the comments I could easily find out because I am FB friends with several bloggers who are obviously FB friends with you. LOL
    I have a Blog, FB & Twitter.
    I started blogging & reading blogs way before my age/demographic was on FB like they are now. I can remember when you had to be in college to be on FB because my step-daughter was on it. I blog anonymously but have gotten used to posting pictures, so that is technically not anonymous I guess LOL * Most people who read my blog are other bloggers. Only a few people in my personal life even know I have a blog and I am pretty sure they don’t read it because, they are not into blogging like that. I don’t post my blogs to FB because my blog is more personal. I have some archived posts that I might not want my cousins or aunts to stumble upon & read. Also from time to time, I blog about people close to me because I know that bloggers don’t know them. LOL I don’t use twitter a lot & the only people in my circle are other bloggers and celebrities.

    *One time I got an email from a girl I went to high school with who had been lurking on my blog for a while. She did not know it was me until she saw a picture that I had posted of my sister.

  14. I don’t know your name or the family’s. I’ve been using my first name on the blog since the beginning (my name is in the title), but then I tried to be anonymous, but that doesn’t work.

    I don’t tweet, but I use FB. And, I’m completely open on there. It’s a personal location for me. The people I accept friend requests from are people I actually know with the exception of a few blog people. Though, I don’t mind that they see it.

    Sometimes I regret not being completely anonymous on the blog. There are things I want to talk about, but I worry about how it would be percieved if someone from work got a hold of it. But, I’m just an open person, so I can’t really see how the anonymous route would have worked for me.

  15. Do you know my name? Yep, I think you linked to a FB photo album and that is when I realized you went to CHS.

    Do you know Smoochy’s name? No

    Do you know Lovegirl’s name? Nope

    Do you blog/FB/Tweet? Blog, FB, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr- all of it. I use my first name but when you pair it with my last name you won’t even find me in the 28,904,569 million google results that come up.

    Are you anonymous or are you an open book? A little of both. My FB is of course far more personal. My blog is a little more private- acquaintances and some folks who run in the same circles have found it so some parts I’ve made private. I don’t post pics of my honey on there cause a friend of his found it and had started asking him a bunch of questions. It’s getting harder as I see a lot more of my “circle” commenting on blogs I frequent so it’s making me rethink how candid I can be.

    How’d you make the decision to “go public” if you did? I was always a techy and starting with learning basic HTML in the AOL days I started creating a website about myself and while posting pics of myself I kept a lot of identifying details out of it. I tend to err on the safe side while not totally hiding who I am.

  16. Do you know my name? I have seen your first name when you linked photos from your fb. I remember the letters but not the name.
    Do you know Smoochy’s name? Only if it’s Smoochy. Do you know Lovegirl’s name? Only if her name is Lovegirl.

    Do you blog/FB/Tweet? blog and fb.
    Are you anonymous or are you an open book? Fairly Anon on blog and nothing detailed on fb.

  17. Do you know my name? No
    Do you know Smoochy’s name? No
    Do you know Lovegirl’s name? No
    Do you blog/FB/Tweet? Blog No. I’m on fb just to check up on family, but I mostly play the games (hey they calm my nerves down after work). Tweet :Yep all up on that mugg.
    Are you anonymous or are you an open book? I’m anonymous

  18. I know your last name, but I would only know your first if I saw it written (like when you comment on other blogs). I don’t know Smoochy and LG’s names.

    I tweet, use Facebook and have 2 blogs on indefinite hiatus, pretty anonymous on one, obvious on the other. I try not to add bloggers on Facebook unless I’ve met them or they mention it to allow you all some level of privacy.

  19. I know your name, but not your family’s names. I know your name b/c we have a mutual fb friend who’s also a blogger, and I’ve seen you comment on her statuses. We’ve also emailed back and forth. 🙂 I’m fb friends with the blogger bc I’d been following her for a while and I understand the weirdness of having someone know so much about you and not the other way around, so I opened up the communication and added her on fb for that very purpose. Please feel free to add me. 🙂

    I’m a somewhat open book on fb. I’m only searchable on fb if there’s a mutual friend. I’m not a blogger and I don’t tweet, so I haven’t had to make those decisions.

  20. I don’t know you guys’ names… I FB & Tumble but don’t twitter… I Fb with people I actually know but I’m not really anonymous on my tumblr but I also haven’t really told anyone I know in real life about it either… Maybe about 5 friends…

  21. I know your name and Smoochy’s name. I’ve read LG’s name, but I can’t remember it…probably because I can’t pronounce it. I think LG’s name was in your birth story…you had copied it over, and left it in by mistake, but the next time I read the entry, you had corrected it.

    I don’t blog, so no worries there. My FB is my real name, and my twitter is something completely off the wall…because it’s my release.

  22. Yep





    I’m definitely not an open book but not anonymous either….especially after posting my video on the blog. I still can’t believe I did that ish. LOL

    Ion’t know. I just did.


  23. I don’t know your name and we’ve never met. Actually,this is my first visit to your blog.

    i can understand your need to be private. Generally, when I NEED to write something that I don’t want public for everyone to see, I create a private or password protected entry. I don’t advertise my blog on Facebook and Twitter, although I have but most people don’t remember me doing so or know what a blog is. I like it that way, though.

    Although some people I know are aware of my blog, there is nothing that I write that I don’t if they discover, so it doesn’t bother me.

  24. No to all questions. I am pretty much an open book on my blog. I enjoy sharing certain aspects of my life just as I enjoy hearing about others. I may have sllpped in the past and said my children’s real name but not often enough that I think anyone will remember. I don’t think any of my readers unless they follow me on FB know my real name. I like it like that..something like a mystery! There is something intriguing about bloggers who withold some information.!

  25. I’ve seen your name, thought it was beautiful, wondered how to pronounce it and then forgot it. If I saw it again, I’d probably recognize it. Only knew that b/c I am FB friends with another blogger and there was a comment on a photo after I commented.

    I don’t believe I know Lovegirl’s or Smoochy’s name.

    I blog, FB and tweet. And now I use Google+. My blog is not searchable and I don’t tell anyone that I blog. If you find it, it’s not b/c I told you about it. I don’t publish it on FB or Twitter. I rarely mention my blog on Twitter. I don’t use my son’s name or my fiance’s name. They’re Buddha & Mister. Same names I use on Twitter.

    I used to be public while blogging and then a law school snafu happened and I shut it down. So now I share a lot but without a lot of identifying details.

  26. @mzinspiredmind – that is all kinds of crazy! Sorry that happened to you. I’m “comfortable” with everyone who comments and whose blogs I read, but the thought that there is some nut lurking prevents me from being totally open.

    @nicole – not searchable? Do tell!

    @krock – no worries, we’re good. 🙂 I agree, FB is more personal for me too – I’m friends with very few people I don’t know in real life.

    @tih – agreed. I’ll never link my blog to FB – how ever would I occasionally rant about my SIL if I did that??

    @mrscount – I have ONE friend who insists on using Lovegirl’s name whenever I post a picture of her, even though I’ve asked her not to – drives me crazy. I’ve gone through and deleted all of her comments (I think) but still. Lovegirl’s name is the one I really try to keep private. She’s soooo friendly if anyone walked up to her and said her name, she would not consider them a “stranger” and that creeps me out!

    @keyalus – I was trying to think if I’ve ever seen your husband’s name…nope! You’ve done a good job of keeping him anon. I remember you explaining the baby’s name, but I can’t remember what it is…I’d be a piss poor crazy stalker!!

    @simplyb – hmmm, I don’t think I have a clue as to your real identity!

    @akima – oh how I hope we get food trucks soon – and that they’re not just mobile versions of already existing restaurants!!

    @jameil – are you saying the paparazzi who follow me everywhere are figments of my imagination?!?

    @mrstdj – someone just mentioned the other day that we should start a pressure campaign to get you on the Twitter! I can’t lie – I enjoy it 🙂

    @nylse – only because of our exchange early on do I have any clue as to who you are. You’re very good at anonymous!

    @babs – let me just tell you – I really thought your name was Babs for the longest! P would mention you by your name and I’d be like ‘who??’ I was all kinds of confused! He’s real. I swear!

    @beautifully complex – I feel you. I really have no desire for people I know IRL to know about my blog – I need a venting mechanism. I’m surprised I told my Mom I blog…

    @aretha – I have those same things about work. Particularly when I was going through my rough patches and was saying not-so-nice things (although true) about my heifer, I mean boss.

    @cityofcyn – I can’t lie – I was shocked when you asked me if I went to CHS – I’d forgotten that I linked to FB and I was like “how did she know….” I guess my maiden name is not the most common one out there 🙂

    @ames – I am willing to tell you that their names are neither Smoochy nor Lovegirl 🙂 Lovegirl won’t even let me call her that in real life!

    @jixxa – you sure are!

    @beautifullyyoung – so your two blogs don’t intersect in any way? Interesting.

    @tsheree – will do!

    @shari – what the hay is Tumblr? I just started using Twitter, and I’m pretty sure I’m not doing it right. (hush Jameil!) LOL!

    @jeanine – you’re right – it was in there! You’ve got a mind like a steel trap!!

    @argal – wait. You did a video?? How did I miss that? Please prepare for some straight blog stalkeration until I find it!!!

    @gp – I’ve toyed with taking the blog private too – but figured I’d grant access to pretty much everyone so…

    @rae – welcome and thangs!

    @mimi – I’ve only been reading you for a little while, but I can’t recall ever reading your family’s names. I’m all about the intrigue 🙂

    @sayitlikethis – thank you – it’s easier to pronounce than you might imagine – or at least I think so 🙂 i love that you call your son Buddha – such a cute nickname!

    Whew! I honestly wasn’t expecting so much feedback. Thanks to everyone for commenting, and for reading! Be well.

  27. I have seen your name. No clue how to say it. I dont know Lovegirl or Smoochy real names. I have a fb, and a twitter. Twitter is more of an open book for me. I cant say what I want on FB because too many of the family members are on there( and my family is nosy)

  28. I used to know your real name because I emailed you about something, but I forgot(I’m low carbing and I’m old). I have no idea of Smoochy and LoveGirl’s real names

    • Forgot to say I don’t blog or twitter and my facebook is sooo generic. I started it to try to win something, LOL!. I would probably blog though if I wasn’t so boring.

  29. Don’t know anyones real names around these here parts ma’am .

    I tweet and blog. I refused to join facebook. I’m an open book on my blog. I use my daughters 1st name and nickname. I use my own nick name to blog. I rarely use anyone elses real names when blogging though. I love sharing pics of my daughter and about my life in general. My blog is my release. My twitter however is not for people I actually know. If I wanted to communicate with them everyday i’d join FB lol. Most of my friends on twitter are other bloggers or people I have encountered through blogging.

  30. Yes, I know all your real names (atleast first). Not sure where exactly, probably a mix between facebook and other people commenting and referring to your daughter,you & hubby by name. If it makes you feel better, I’m Alycia, Hubby Steven & girls are Alex, Jordan & Kennedy 🙂
    All of which I’m pretty sure you already knew too.

  31. I’m super late on this post, but I’m playing blog catch-up.
    I know your name from seeing a comment on a mutual friend’s FB page. I don’t know why, but somehow I just knew it was you. I don’t know Smoochy’s or Lovegirl’s names. My first blog was super transparent…and now I think I’m pretty transparent about details of my life, but I don’t share my real name or pictures of myself on the blog. FB and twitter are a little more open for me because they’re both pretty locked down.

  32. I know your name because when you comment on my blog it sometimes comes up (in the email that says I have a comment, not on the actual blog post). I also think that we’ve emailed each other a couple of times.

    I don’t know lovegirl or smoochy’s name.

    While we’re on the topic my real life friends know about my blog and know exactly who I am, but there’s not so much as a photo or my name anywhere on my blog. I’m way to honest and ratchet on there to identify myself.

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