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Defending Her Honor

I’m not real big on fighting.  I believe in walking away.  I don’t generally care too much about negative things people say about me. Now, if you threaten me or mine with physical harm, I will come out swinging. But talk?  Nah.  I realize everyone doesn’t operate that way, and that’s cool.  Or is it?

I was watching RHOA Sunday before last and Phaedra’s husband Apollo and Cynthia’s husband Peter almost came to blows because Peter had given an interview in which he said some not so nice things about the other “housewives.”  Phaedra wasn’t real thrilled about what Peter said and made some snide remark to him which set off the whole back and forth between Peter and Apollo.  Apollo was heated and said something about defending his wife’s honor.  And then it was on.  Old vs. young. Peter vs. Apollo. Folks vs. baby.  Whatever.

I got to thinking about how stupid stuff like this is how a lot of people lose their lives. Somebody says something someone else doesn’t like and the next thing you know, some dude has driven back to the club, sprayed it with bullets and folks are hurt or dead.  Because of something someone said.  If two old dudes like Peter and Apollo are willing to throw down – at a baby shower no less – over words, how in the world can we ever expect our  young men to resolve conflict without violence?

A lot of people were whooping and hollering about how Apollo was absolutely right to defend his wife. I guess.  If your wife – a lawyer and aspiring funeral home owner o_O – can’t handle someone saying something nasty about her, y’all have bigger fish to fry.

I don’t want – or need – Smoochy to get into any type of fight over something said about me.  People are crazy.  Always ready to pull out a gun and start shooting.  At the end of the day, I want my husband home, safe with us.  If someone calls me a two-bit whore, let ’em.  Don’t risk life and limb defending my honor.  I’m good.

I’m pretty sure Smoochy would disagree, and some of y’all probably do as well.

So, tell me – where do you stand on this one?  Do you want your spouse/SO fighting to defend you from verbal nonsense?  Would you prefer he walk away?  Have you ever been in a similar situation?  What happened?




18 thoughts on “Defending Her Honor

  1. I agree with you about everything. People are always going to talk. “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me”. I also believe that the person speaking has to mean something to me for it to affect me.

  2. I’m not a fan of fighting just to fight (words or otherwise) but I know for a fact Mistah would not stand idly by if someone called me a bitch or something similar. Now that mess Phaedra and Appollo were hoopin’ and hollerin’ about….naw. That would have never even happened. I definitely wouldn’t have stirred the pot as Phaedra did. I would have just left the table…..especially if the (5 hour o_O) baby shower was almost over. Truth be told, I probably would have never seen them as I would have left to return to my humble abode during the 2nd hour.

  3. I don’t want my husband physically fighting unless it’s a matter of life and death. Verbal stuff, ugh *kanye shrug*. That said, my peaceful husband gets incredibly riled up whenever he feels that someone threatened or disrespected me or our home.

  4. So, tell me – where do you stand on this one? Do you want your spouse/SO fighting to defend you from verbal nonsense? Would you prefer he walk away? Have you ever been in a similar situation? What happened?

    I totally agree with you. I have never been in a physical fight because I think fighting over the fact that someone doesn’t like me or called me a bitch is beyond silly. I’mma a mess up my pretty face fighting you because you called me out my name? Yeah, that’s what won’t be happening.

    I don’t want my SO fighting to defend my honor especially behind someone spouting some nonsense. I’d prefer that he just walk away. It is never that serious to me. I think both folks end up looking real foolish fighting over something so trivial. I stay as far away from drama as possible so I’ve never had to deal with it but I think my honey and I are on the same page.

  5. In that situation, my husband would have told me, and I quote “YOU sent that dog huntin’ and it brought back a bone. That’s on you.” Now would he have let it escalate to something physical? Certainly not. But if I was never physically in harms way, he’d let me cut the fool by myself. For a little while, at least.

  6. If someone is maligning my good name (lol…), I would want my husband to come to my defense. Just like I would come to his.

    However, yelling, arguing and FIGHTING? Naw. You can take everything too far.

      • No, I can’t even imagine myself yelling and arguing in public. lol… I was thinking more along the lines of come to my defense with words, as in “That’s not true. She’s not a two-bit whore.” I would be mad at him for endangering himself if I heard of him fighting in public.

        I would definitely expect him to walk away from a fight if it were possible and neither one of us was in danger. I’d be hot if he put himself in danger or ended up in jail, dead or without a job because said something mean.

  7. I’ll keep it simple for you. It’s not what you’re called, but what you answer to.

    Ain’t nothing cute about visiting Mister in a correctional facility because he was defending my honor. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit……let them folks talk. Maybe they need to do it in order to sleep better at night. And I’m all for a good night’s sleep.

  8. Defending your honor and acting a fool is 2 different things. The article was MONTHS ago…so fighting at this point is just acting a fool. There is no need for that. By that time, they should have laughed about what a fool Papa Smurf was and let it go. They came off looking crazy and punkish.

    But say I was walking down the street and someone called me a name (or grabbed me, etc), although I wouldn’t want my significant other (if I had one!) to get in a fight…I would expect him to defend me. If he didn’t defend me, I would look at him like he was crazy. I’m your woman, Man!

    • Same question I asked Akima – what do you mean by defend? I’m not talking about if someone puts their hands on you – I’m only talking about someone saying something crazy to/about you.

      And yeah, Phaedra was just starting mess, but it got me to thinking…and I really wish I didn’t think of Papa Smurf every time I saw Peter! LOL!

  9. Nope. Whatever somebody has to say about me we know its not true. I would rather us walk away than something escalates that puts either of us in harms way.

  10. Nah man, sticks and stones was a pretty simple lesson that we learned at a very young age. Like others have said, true or not, the opinions of strangers don’t mean a dang thing to me. I need my husband and my son needs a father. Folks can talk out the side of their neck alllllllll day long. I’m comfortable with those that know me, love me and respect me.

  11. My only problem with Apollo (besides being married to Fakedra) is that he decided to spar in public. I don’t have a problem with him defending her, but it should have been done with the incident occured, off camera and not at a baby shower.

    That was not the time.

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