Hand Jive

There is a young lady (white) who works in my office that frequently comes to me to discuss race issues. I think I’ve mentioned before how much I enjoy being the “black people expert” on staff.

The other day she comes in and tells me about a situation with one of the ladies that works at the desk in our library.

Our library sells coffee. Good coffee. For cheap. One morning the young lady I work with went over to buy a dollar cup. She placed her money on the counter and promptly got fussed at by the lady at the desk. The gist of the fussing was – put the money in my hand, are you racist, do you not want to touch me, etc., etc.

Young lady comes back flabbergasted. Can’t believe that putting money on the counter was so offensive. So I told her that from my experience black people (in America) generally expect their currency – debit card, cash, change, whatever – to be handed back to them and that slapping money or a card on the counter is a big no-no.

(I am always amazed that my mother places money on counters to be picked up by cashiers!)

Anyhoo, the young lady thought it unfair that she was attacked verbally for doing something she always does regardless of the race of the person behind the counter. She didn’t feel as though she should have to adjust her MO because of the other lady’s POV.

I told her she could choose to hand the woman the money next time or continue to get the side-eye and be labeled a racist. The choice was hers. Whether or not that’s fair, I don’t know.  She’s now pretty determined not to  hand the lady behind the counter her money. Ever.

What do y’all think? Is the burden on my coworker to “prove” she’s not racist by handing money to the clerk or should the clerk put aside her feelings and realize that how a person pays is not (necessarily) an indicator of negative feelings towards an entire group of people?

Curious to hear what y’all think.



3 Legitimate Fears

I’m not certain what determines whether a fear is legitimate or not, I mean really, if you’re scared, you’re scared.  There’s no need to go in front of a committee to have your fear validated.  Is there?

Anyhoo, here are my three fears – legit to me.  Maybe not so much in your eyes…

1.  Failing as a parent.  I do everything within my power to give LG the tools she will need to succeed in her life.  I pray over her constantly.  And then I wonder and worry about what else I should be doing for her. I’m not foolish enough to think that being “raised right” is enough.  I know it’s not.  I see people every day who were “raised right” and they leave a lot, in my opinion, to be desired.  I sincerely hope God honors my prayers as it relates to my favorite child.

2.  Going slap off one day.  I am generally a chill person.  Sometimes, too much so.  But sometimes someone will do something, or something will happen and I think I may just go nuts and wig out like Michael Douglas’ character in “Falling Down.”  Have you seen that movie?  Basically old dude is just kinda frustrated and everything/body he encounters that day makes him wig the hell out.  Don’t worry, this isn’t a confession that I’m about to snap (I hope), but there are days when I think, hmmm…maybe losing it wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

3.  Rodents.  I can’t explain it. I’m just scared of them.



Since You’ve Been Away I’ve Been Sad And Lonely…

Okay, so the title may be reaching a bit, but I really have missed blogging.  The problem was is that I just don’t have much going on right now. I’ll sometimes have a fleeting thought that “oh, I should blog this,” but by the time I’m in front of a computer, yeah, I can’t remember what I thought I might blog about.  And it seems like everyone has slowed down on the blogging front. Much as I enjoy Twitter and though I still check in on Facebook every now and again, I miss reading blogs. So I’m going to start writing and reading and commenting and hope to get back in the groove of things. Cool? Cool.

So, shout out to Single Ma for this list of blogging topics. I’m going to do them.  Probably out of order. Not necessarily every day. But a girl’s got to start somewhere.  So, here we go…

1. List 20 10 random facts about yourself.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

4. List 10 5 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

7. What is your dream job, and why?

8. What are 5 passions you have?

9. List 10 3 people who have influenced you and describe how.

10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.

11. Describe 10 5 pet peeves you have.

12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

14. Describe 5 strengths you have.

15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?

22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

23. List your top 5 3 hobbies and why you love them.

24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

28. What is your love language?

29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?

30. List 10 5 things you would hope to be remembered for.

This Weekend


In my mind:  LG would attend a girl’s conference at church. She’d be there from 8a-3p. I would drop her off, go work out, meet a friend for brunch, head to the house, grab a few hours of sleep, go pick the kid up and we’d head home to hang out with Smoochy. The day would be relaxing.

In reality:  LG attended a girl’s conference at church. She also volunteered us for a 2:00 fashion show.  I took her church,  helped her check in, stayed for a while to make sure she was okay. My friend called to say she was making a trip to the ATL and couldn’t meet for brunch.  I headed to Waffle House and placed a to go order.  Then I went to Old Navy to see what their $8 cardigans were talking about. I didn’t like the ones for adults, but picked one up for LG along with a few tshirts and a pair of shorts. I went home and ate cold Waffle House. I washed every article in the clothing in the house that wasn’t hung up or in a drawer. I grabbed a garbage bag, filled it with stuff I thought LG and Smoochy wouldn’t miss and threw it out.  I showered and headed over to the church to rip the runway with my child. She’d won a pink feather boa, so she added that to her ensemble and strutted down the runway like her name was Tyra Banks.  I walked out looking like a deer in headlights and thanked the Lord I didn’t fall. We then headed to an art sale at a local mall. A couple of friends met us there and we strolled around in the heat until we thought we were going to pass out.  LG spent some time splashing in the splash pad while I sipped on some of the most disgusting iced tea ever. Three shades darker and exhausted we headed home.  Stopping, of course, by Baskin Robbins on the way in.  Cherries Jubilee for me, some horrid pop rocks filled sherbert for her.  We watched the Kid’s Choice Awards and then I went upstairs and crashed. My knowledge of what Smoochy and LG did the rest of the night is very limited. And by limited I mean nonexistent. The day was exhausting.


In my mind:  I’d get up, fix a good breakfast, we’d all head to church.  After church we’d take a nap and slowly putter around and get ready for the week ahead.

In reality:  LG begged me to let her stay home.  And I did.  I went to church where the service was excellent and I somehow signed up to tutor/mentor kids on Mondays – adios Zumba 😦  I then headed to the grocery store and home.  Meatballs were made, clothes were hung up/folded and put away, a nap was taken by me.  I woke up to a kinda clean kitchen and a kid who’d stuffed herself with Oreos.  Smoochy headed out for the week and after bathing, combing hair and straightening up, LG and I were done for. She went to bed, I watched most of the COG on BET and called it a night.

Oh, the excitement of it all!  How was your weekend?  How did it compare to what you’d envisioned?

Mama's long, leggy girl!

C-O-O-L. What's that spell? She's so cool!