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Naw, Player, Naw!

Anybody else call their daddy last night crying and screaming ’cause they saw a mouse in their kitchen?  No?  Just me?

Have you ever read my “100 things about me page?”  Please, go take a looksie – at number 38 in particular.

So when I saw that thing I about fell out! I called Smoochy hollering about the mouse I just saw and he said “uh, what do you want me to do? I’m in Texas.” Wrong answer sir.  Wrong answer.  I told him to call his daddy, consult the book of good husbands, call a friend and call me back when he had something better to say to me.  I don’t require a lot of hand holding or rescuing on a regular basis, but my fear of the rodent is real and I need some comforting.

So I did what any self respecting 40 year old woman would do – I called my father and told him I was freaked out.  And that I had some smothered potatoes on the stove I needed to get, but I was scared.  But that I didn’t want to burn the house down.  And all this hollering and crying I was doing?  Was silent – like Edvard Munch’s The Scream. I didn’t want to freak LG out – no need to pass on what I realize is an irrational fear to her.  So I’m sitting on my bed, crying, asking my dad to help me.  From 1800 miles away.  And you know what?  He helped me.  He told me to calm down, take some deep breaths, and not to scare LG.  He told me he’d stay on the phone with me while I went downstairs and turned the potatoes off.  And he did.

If you’re wondering where LG was during all of this – she was at the table eating her dinner.  Ignorance is bliss.

I got the potatoes off the stove.  I told LG to finish her dinner so we could go to karate/the gym and we broke camp.

Smoochy called back and asked me if I wanted to check into a hotel for the night.  I sure the heck did.  But I didn’t.  I realized that’s a waste of funds.  But God in heaven knows I really, really, really, really wanted to pack a bag and go check in somewhere.  So he tells me he’ll call me back.  After I dropped LG off at karate, but before I made it to the gym, he called back telling me he’d be home today and that the exterminator was coming at 9:00.  That sir?  Is the right answer.

We made it home.  I got LG bathed and in bed and I watched a fantastic episode of S.candal.  If you don’t watch – you are missing out I tell ya!  Anyhow, I finally fell asleep around 11, but I kept waking up and looking around my room ’cause I thought I  heard a mouse.  Phobias are real y’all.

Thank God we made it out of the house without another sighting.  I hope Smoochy and el exterminator work it out this morning ’cause I just can’t deal with any other possibility.

And tomorrow?  Somebody please call me to make sure I haven’t passed out from inhaling bleach fumes – the whole house is getting a wipe down!

Just yuck!!!!!!!




13 thoughts on “Naw, Player, Naw!

  1. I TOTALLY understand where you’re coming from. I absolutely CANNOT deal w/ rodents of any kind. Once there was one in my granma’s house, I broke out of that house and was across the street in seconds. LOL!

  2. I totally feel your pain. I’ve holed myself up in the bedroom with a towel under the door after sprinting into the kitchen to grab supplies. Mopping with peppermint oil and sprinkling black pepper on the floor is our go to (what with living in connected houses in NYC).Hope the exterminator is on the way!

  3. I just love your ability to stop what you are doing and write down your thoughts. I have had writers block for a few months now and can’t seem to get back to my blog…(blah!) Phobias and tears are real! I wish I had a daddy to talk to! Kudos to yours.

  4. No, I didn’t make that call last night but I did have to make it years ago. Mickey, minnie and their young son came running through my living room years ago. I was crying like a baby calling my daddy. It was awful. I moved out of that apartment the very next month.

  5. Yikes. One time I was on a Amtrack to CT (22 hours!). I dozed off and woke up and believe I saw a mouse. No one else in the car seemed to care about my warnings! I didn’t fall back asleep and never took the train back home.

  6. My thing is spiders. No matter what, it’s your fear and the men just need to deal. I get HH to kill spiders all the time and he’s all, “really? This little thing?”
    And like, “yes, DAMMIT. just do it!” Bless his heart, my dad did not like spiders but I never knew that as a child because he would still kill them for me. 🙂

    Glad Smoochy got the right answer on the second try. LOL!

  7. Crying on the bad, scared to go to the kitchen, calling hubs in another state….all very rational things to do given the situation. We had a mouse once and we set out a mousetrap. I was home alone one night and I heard the thing snap him in the other room. I heard it tumble around until he died. He was dead Nerd Girl! But I called my husband out of sheer fear. I could not get off the sofa bc I was scared to let my feet touch the ground. Thought the zombie mouse would grab my foot from under the sofa or something. It made no sense. So yeah…I feel you.

  8. Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl, me and you? We are >>here< 0_o *shivers*

    I think something happened to me as a kid and I’ve suppressed the traumatic memory. My mom laughs when people talk of mice of my presence so I’m sure there is some truth to my theory.

    And you are more brave than me because I would have stayed gone until my husband returned home, visited a friend, or checked into that hotel. Otherwise, I would have been up like this O_O all night. Whew chile, I can’t! *shivers*

  9. When I lived alone, I once returned home to a mouse in the bathtub. Picture it. I’m the bathroom doing what it do when I hear a scratching sound. Now mind you, the shower curtain was closed so I see nothing. After sitting (completely) still, I realized where the noise was coming from and what it probably was. With fear, I pulled a small part of the shower curtain back. My heart jumped into my throat and…..now this puzzles me but I yanked the damn curtain alllllll the way back and SCREAMED!!!!! You would have thought I was being murdered Ja Rule style. I called my friend (that I still cuss out to this day because her black @ss wouldn’t come over) to help me. Do what? I don’t know. She had a gentlemen caller over at the time so he offered to come over. I sure am thankful for that and the fact that he was a country boy. He scooped it up in a shoe box and hauled it off. I made sure to tell him far, far away!!

    After he was gone, I high tailed it to Wal-Mart and bought all kinds of traps, steel wool, borax, whatever. When I returned home, guess what I did? Called.My.Mama!!! She lives in Memphis but I asked her to stay with me on the phone in case something jumped out at me. Like you, I knew she couldn’t physically do anything but it was a comfort like no other.

    In the end, I said all this to say….I FEEL YOU GIRL!!!! Sorry for blogging in your comments. 😀

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