Seriously?

I have a 21 year old second cousin (I’ve never met her) who is currently 5 months pregnant. She’s my cousin’s daughter and was given up for adoption when her grandmother who cared for her (my aunt) died. Get all that? Okay, good. Anyhoo, she and my mom (her great aunt) have been trying to establish a relationship…

So. She’s 5 months pregnant and somehow or another she invites my parents over to her apartment. Where she has nothing. No furniture, no dishes, no paper goods, nothing. My parents, being the lovely people that they are, offer her a bed, a set of dishes, a table and two chairs. My mom also tells her she has plenty of friends with a lot of stuff they want to get rid of and she would ask them for things if she’d like. This chick tells them she “doesn’t do used, so no thank you.” My parents were like “Okaaaaaay…you sure?” She tells them yes, she’s sure. She has standards. In addition to not doing used, she wants things that match – a bedroom suite, a coordinated living room set, etc. etc. Alrightie then.

I guess this is where I should mention she has no money, no car, lost her last job and is currently selling Cut.co knives making $15 for each presentation. So far she’s made 3 presentations. To my mom and two of her friends.  I’ll do the math for you – she’ll have $45 whenever she catches the bus to go pick up her check.

I shall also mention that in addition to  saving up for an apartment full of new furniture, she also has her eyes on an iPad. Ma’am. You finna have a baby. Get your life.

Fast forward to yesterday (when she did the Cut.co presentation to two of my mom’s friends). My parents repeat the offer to help with furnishings. She turns them down again. Not only does she not do used, but there’s no way she could sleep in “that little bed.” My mama was like “you do know you’re sleeping on the floor right now, right? You are 5 months pregnant – it’s not going to be easy to sleep on and get up off the floor pretty soon.” Girl declines again. My mama must really be mellowing out, because I can’t believe she’s offered help as many times as she has. My mama? Naw. Now we are not a cussing yelling screaming people. But we know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em and when to walk away. So surprised my mom hasn’t bounced!

So. My mom offers the girl some lunch. The girl accepts. Then says “wait. I forgot y’all don’t eat meat. Are we going to the store?” My mother (who I may nominate for sainthood!) was like naw, we are not going to the store. I can make you a sandwich – peanut butter or   tuna. Then. Oh yes, there’s a then – the girl says…are you ready…”what kind of tuna?” Girl, is you crazy?!?!?

Somehow the child is still alive. My mama (!!!) says “so, we just bought a new set of dishes. We have boxed up the old set, would you like them? They’ve been on the back porch, so you’d need to wash them off, but they’re really nice dishes.” The girl then asks my mom if SHE has gloves so that SHE – my mama – can wash the dishes before she accepts them. Bwahahahahahahaha!

My mom says “look. I’ve been trying to deal with you like you are a child. But I see I’m going to have to talk to you woman to woman. I don’t care what you do. I don’t care if you take the furniture or sleep on the floor the rest of your life. Take the dishes or don’t take the dishes – I care not at all. I’m not washing a darn thing. Eat or don’t eat. Drink all the juice you want and end up with gestational diabetes (my mom told her to ease up on the juice/increase water intake). I’m through.”

Then the child asked her for bus fare. My mom gave her a ten.

You already know she asked for change right?!?!?!?

iCannot with these dumb arse youth of today. I simply cannot.