Home » Mi Familia Loca » Seriously?


I have a 21 year old second cousin (I’ve never met her) who is currently 5 months pregnant. She’s my cousin’s daughter and was given up for adoption when her grandmother who cared for her (my aunt) died. Get all that? Okay, good. Anyhoo, she and my mom (her great aunt) have been trying to establish a relationship…

So. She’s 5 months pregnant and somehow or another she invites my parents over to her apartment. Where she has nothing. No furniture, no dishes, no paper goods, nothing. My parents, being the lovely people that they are, offer her a bed, a set of dishes, a table and two chairs. My mom also tells her she has plenty of friends with a lot of stuff they want to get rid of and she would ask them for things if she’d like. This chick tells them she “doesn’t do used, so no thank you.” My parents were like “Okaaaaaay…you sure?” She tells them yes, she’s sure. She has standards. In addition to not doing used, she wants things that match – a bedroom suite, a coordinated living room set, etc. etc. Alrightie then.

I guess this is where I should mention she has no money, no car, lost her last job and is currently selling Cut.co knives making $15 for each presentation. So far she’s made 3 presentations. To my mom and two of her friends.  I’ll do the math for you – she’ll have $45 whenever she catches the bus to go pick up her check.

I shall also mention that in addition to  saving up for an apartment full of new furniture, she also has her eyes on an iPad. Ma’am. You finna have a baby. Get your life.

Fast forward to yesterday (when she did the Cut.co presentation to two of my mom’s friends). My parents repeat the offer to help with furnishings. She turns them down again. Not only does she not do used, but there’s no way she could sleep in “that little bed.” My mama was like “you do know you’re sleeping on the floor right now, right? You are 5 months pregnant – it’s not going to be easy to sleep on and get up off the floor pretty soon.” Girl declines again. My mama must really be mellowing out, because I can’t believe she’s offered help as many times as she has. My mama? Naw. Now we are not a cussing yelling screaming people. But we know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em and when to walk away. So surprised my mom hasn’t bounced!

So. My mom offers the girl some lunch. The girl accepts. Then says “wait. I forgot y’all don’t eat meat. Are we going to the store?” My mother (who I may nominate for sainthood!) was like naw, we are not going to the store. I can make you a sandwich – peanut butter or   tuna. Then. Oh yes, there’s a then – the girl says…are you ready…”what kind of tuna?” Girl, is you crazy?!?!?

Somehow the child is still alive. My mama (!!!) says “so, we just bought a new set of dishes. We have boxed up the old set, would you like them? They’ve been on the back porch, so you’d need to wash them off, but they’re really nice dishes.” The girl then asks my mom if SHE has gloves so that SHE – my mama – can wash the dishes before she accepts them. Bwahahahahahahaha!

My mom says “look. I’ve been trying to deal with you like you are a child. But I see I’m going to have to talk to you woman to woman. I don’t care what you do. I don’t care if you take the furniture or sleep on the floor the rest of your life. Take the dishes or don’t take the dishes – I care not at all. I’m not washing a darn thing. Eat or don’t eat. Drink all the juice you want and end up with gestational diabetes (my mom told her to ease up on the juice/increase water intake). I’m through.”

Then the child asked her for bus fare. My mom gave her a ten.

You already know she asked for change right?!?!?!?

iCannot with these dumb arse youth of today. I simply cannot.


14 thoughts on “Seriously?

  1. I hope your mother stays involved; perhaps just brings the stuff over because she is being Stupid and hopefully sooner or later she will come to her senses. Seriously, God bless your mother.

  2. You’re making this up. You have to be! It’s a page from your new novel, right? I don’t understand how folks put so many other things higher than their children. Your main function is to provide for this little person who didn’t ask to be here…I hope she yields to your mom’s help. I’ve had gestational diabetes twice, and it is not a game.

  3. Im nominating you for the comic writer of the year award. If this is true, Mama Sez gets the Sainthood award hands down. You know this child would be in the hospital by now if it were me she was dealing with, right? Right!

  4. Let someone have offered me FREE stuff when I had nothing. Girl please, she’ll be off her high-low horse soon enough when that baby comes. Matching be damned!!

  5. This can’t be true. It just can’t. I’m with InnerDiva, this has to be made up!

    God bless your Mom for trying and trying again. But that heifer needs a reality check! Too small…what kind of tuna…don’t do used…sheesh!

    Where has she been living so high on the hog that she can’t accept handouts (which I bet are really good handouts! )?

    I really feel for the unborn child.

  6. is the morale of this story that the next generation has unwavering standards? Because I guess thats good! Or..that your mom is doing so many saintly things she doesn’t have time to blog?

    This is really so sad. This kid and her child are up sh*ts creek…and she won’t take a paddle!

  7. Young folks! Sometimes they are such silly gooses. How can she not do used? Is she the first tenant in a brand new apartment? So, do you think she’ll ask your mom to watch the baby for a few hours and not come back?

  8. She wasn’t “raised” right. Poor thing. Bless your Mom’s heart. I would have let go of her after the first conversation.

  9. Bless your mama. My mouth was wide open reading this and while I think the girl is young and very stupid, I also feel sorry for her. That sense of entitlement is bad enough for her, but then with a baby? Sad.

  10. See….now just over in Twittadelphia, there was a comment about somebody seeing a pregnancy post on FB and the person thinking she wasn’t gonna be a good mother. And a person responded to that post with, “shade.” But see…this? Right here? IS THE EPITOME of not having maternal instincts, common sense, motivation, humbleness….I can keep going, but I’m sure you get my point.

    She would have gotten the most diplomatic cussing out she had ever witnessed in her tender years. Ain’t no way! Better yet, what’s so different about accepting the dishes than the furniture? I thought she didn’t do “used.” Ugh, ugh, ugh.

    Some folks just can’t get right.

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