at 5:30 in the morning? Mostly because, as hard as I try not to be, I am worried about our financial future. I really didn’t think it would take this long for me to find another job. I’m tired of talking about it, tired of worrying about it, have said that I’m not worried about it, but, anyone who’s been up since 3:00 in the morning must have it on her mind – ya know? What’s the old saying? “If you pray, don’t worry and if you worry, don’t pray.” Great. I’m praying and worrying. I’ve probably canceled myself out.
Oh well, let’s move on to other things. Important stuff like . . .
Is it just me, or does that stank new Fergie (of the Black Eye Peas) song sound a lot like “Supersonic” from back in the day? Is it just me? It usually is. In case you’re wondering what song I could possibly be talking about, the name of the musical masterpiece is “Fergalicious.”
I am sorry to hear that Regina King (of the TV show “227” and many, many movies including “Ray”) and her husband are divorcing. Well, actually I’m not, since apparently he’s been abusing her for most (all?) of their eight year marriage. My friend and I were talking about this earlier today. I continue to be amazed at how many successful and financially secure women live and exist in abusive relationships. It hurts my heart to know that there are men who feel they have to dominate, control, and abuse the women they “love.” And that there are women who stay with these men. I know they have a child together, but still . . . and this is not really me being judgemental, because thank God, I have never experienced an abusive relationship. I just wonder why in a day and time when women have rights and options and money and resources so many women continue to stay in abusive relationships. I pray that she is able to move on and heal. And that he gets the help he needs.
I am so excited that Emmitt Smith and Mario have made it to the finals in “Dancing with the Stars.” I am hoping that Emmitt wins. I’ll be honest, I think Mario is actually a better dancer, but I think he’s had training or something which gives him an unfair advantage. And Emmitt is just so darned cute shimmying and shaking and gliding around that dance floor.
Wow. I’ve gone from Fergie to domestic violence to dancing celebs. I guess this is what happens when one blogs while deliriously sleepy yet is unable to sleep. Umm, what else . . .
Oh, I didn’t get the job at the hospital. I’m still waiting to hear from the university. I’ll keep you posted.
I got approved for unemployment. I never thought I’d be so happy to be receiving governmental aid. I was first told I couldn’t collect unemployment because I’d been fired and they would have to open up an investigation because unemployment was only for people who lost their jobs through no fault of their own – layoffs, plant closings, etc. I guess even the unemployment people see that there is no rationalizing that I was fired because of my “lousy” work, but kept on the payroll for two months past my firing to finish a project because I was the only one who could do it right. Geesh. Unemployment comes on a debit card that can be used at any store or I can get money off of it to pay bills. Who knew?
I’m slightly mortified at the fact that I’ve begun the process for putting Lovegirl on the Medicaid program. This is just not somewhere I ever thought I’d be in my life. I’ve always believed (and still do) that you shouldn’t have kids if you can’t afford them. I don’t mean “My Super Sweet 16” afford them, I mean basics – decent housing, decent meals, decent clothing. Yet, here I am “overeducated”, unemployed and putting my kid on a free health insurance plan. But, the thought of her not having insurance (she was covered on mine) terrifies me. Especially with her propensity for running into things and bumping that sweet precious little head of hers. I guess technically we could put her on Smoochy’s insurance, but honestly, he doesn’t bring home that much money – which was never a problem because I made enough for us to comfortably exist – and if we added her to his insurance, his check would be virtually nonexistent. I just feel an indescribable amount of shame having to rely on “the system” to provide for my family the things that I feel I should.
Wow. I believe I’m whining. And I don’t want to. So, it’s about 6:00 I guess I’ll log off and grab a few moments of relaxation before Lovegirl wakes up full of energy and ready to start the day.
Please forgive any typos, whining, incoherent thoughts – I was thinking about not posting this, but I guess I will because this is where I am. For right now anyhow.
Nerd Girl 